Speaking as the child of strict parents.
Raising a child and expecting them not to keep secrets from you is stupid as hell and blatant disregard for how children’s brains work. If you tell a child they can’t have something, they’ll only want it more. The only solution is to rationally explain why the child shouldn’t have it or allow it with parental oversight (or just getting out of the child’s business, but what the fuck do I know).
The above solutions are a million times better than distorting trust with secret-keeping, but due to how so many parents treat child-raising, that’s all their kids can do if it means getting what makes them happy. Openness is a two-way street, and both sides have to have it for a successful parent-child bond
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I think this is less of an opinion more of an observation. I agree that most of the time strict parents do lead to sneaky kids, but there is an exception to every rule.
This is so true. My parents wouldn’t let me do much so I wanted to do everything. So much lying from me it was exhausting. I knew tho in my soul I was only young once and I wanted to make the most of it. I don’t regret any of it but my parents do because now I’m older and can tell them and they’re blown away at the things I did do and situations I was in because I had to hide my doings.
How old are you? Speaking in absolutes and using hyperbole indicates you’re not very mature and I wonder if the strictness is doing you a favor
I wouldn’t say 100% of the time, but a lot of the time yes. Sometimes the kid genuinely does accept it and it creates children who learn to never step out of line and to accept the status quo by following the path set out for them. These people tend to lack creativity and critical thinking but are very very good at doing a task or following a plan if they are told what to do.
For some people this can actually work out pretty well for them, they go straight from high school to college, finish in exactly 4 years, get an office job and work there 40 years without much complaint. They just accept that life is this way and follow the track set out for them because that’s what they’ve always done and it’s always worked. These people also tend to be very trusting of authority figures and subscribe to religious doctrine because again that’s how it is, how it’s always been and they see no reason to change or think about it any deeper than that.
I like these parenting theories. It naturally makes sense that the child will try to hide things from you if they are constantly getting punished for whatever they do
Downvote. Not because it’s popular, but because it’s not an opinion
I’m pretty high on the sneakometer myself and definitely had like strict parents, not full blown disciplinarians, but excessively strict
False. Strict violent parents succeed at controlling their children out of fear.
You need to recognize when trying to be rational with irrational beings is a flawed endeavor.
Agreed. They will rebel. Do you remember that show in the early 2000s called wife swap? The was more than one murder among those super strict families
Nah. You’re way off on this one. Sure, it CAN happen, but I think it’s equally likely that strict parents create fear-riddled little minions.
Fact not an opinion
I had strict parents, and I wasn’t really a “sneaky” kid, but my brother was. I was pretty tame, didn’t really party or anything. But my parents gave me a little more freedom because of that. They were occupied trying to get my brother in line lol.
Super strict parents make sneaky kids. My parents were strict and I was a very curious kid, but I wouldn’t consider myself or the things I did sneaky.
Yes but the opposite of this makes entitled bratty children. So many of my friends who had overly strict parents have rebounded into under-strict parents. It’s a hard balance
“Strict” is vague and can mean anything. Bootcamp type parents will absolutely result in secret retaliation. But you also can’t be a loose yesman parent either.
Not always strict. Strict can be as simple as “you have to finish your homework before you can play video games”.
Now, the helicopter obsessive controlling types? Absolutely.
This is 💯 fact. My abusive stepfather was the definition of strict. So what happened? Well, in addition to being strict, he was stupid. I got around his rules and over on him constantly. I got sneaky and slick.
Since you are so confident in your stats let’s make a survey and if it is no 100% of the time I get to stick a finger up your belly button for at least 30 seconds, deal?
I was desperate to be a wild child rebel as a teen. My parents sat me down and said ” we can give you sound advice, we can’t make you listen to it. No matter what happens, if you’re in trouble we will come and get you no matter what time of day or night.”
Totally took the wind out of my sails. Plus, I discovered I hated the taste of alcohol or joints, and feeling out of it around strangers made me feel scared and vulnerable.
So THANK GOD, my quest to be a teenage tearaway failed miserably.
75% sneaky children, and 25% naive/innocent children not prepared for the world sadly more likely to be taken advantage of and/or don’t know how to solve issues by themselves bc they were never exposed to risk
i never had “get back home” times, i was never told i couldn’t have drugs/sex/etc i was just explain that they are addictive/unhealthy etc, i always end up judging when it was getting dark and i should go home, i was the only kid on my circle that never touched/tried drugs/weed etc.
Agree. My best friend growing up was grounded from the time he was 8 til his 17th birthday. He was literally grounded the entire time. And every day he’d sneak out of the house to hang out. His life was one deception after another, and he constantly had at least 4 lies going on with his father.
I know how to lie really well. Lower the heartrate when lying, elevate when telling the truth. No twitchy movements while looking him straight in the eye
Thanks dad!
i think its more like 99.98%
I sas stupid. My dad was strict and abusive. I was too scared to try to be sneaky.
My singling are evidence that it’s not true 100% of the time.
But I am proof of sneaky child lol
children are gonna be sneaky regardless. even if you are permissive. theres no going around that. so….. wrong, invalidated.
Two options for children of strict parents: excellent situational awareness, possibly grows up to be a spook OR fundamentalist worker bee.
Opinion or observation? Here, seems like the latter. Agreed with post, but downvote because it’s an idea that’s backed up with research.
Had a strict parent. Made me more cautious and paranoid of the world around me.