When people try to prove their dominance and strength by squeezing someone’s hand when shaking it, I actually view it as a sign of weakness. Real strength is subtle and quiet.
I met a Polish woman the other day who had a solid presence about her. Her handshake felt polished and intimate, and her demeanor was quietly confident.
I just see the whole strong handshake thing as a sign of insecurity.
Edit: Your handshake should have structural integrity to show engagement. But that’s it. No need to overdo it.
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Yeah there’s a difference between a firm, confident handshake and someone squeezing the shit out of your hand in some cringey show of strength.
I agree, and usually on this sub that means I’d downvote, but I also have been told my hole life that I need a stronger handshake, so I’ll upvote you.
People attribute too much to simple things. I shake hands about as strongly as the person who I’m shaking hands with as I like to make people feel comfortable.
I think I might agree actually… Just give a normal strength handshake and a confident “how ya doin’?”
I see where you’re coming from, but a weak shake comes off bad. Really bad in most cases. Like why is your wrist so limp and floppy when you grab my hand?
Not always. I read often that especially in corporate culture a strong handshake represents good presentability. But yes other than that I understand your point, for some people it comes out of insecurity and fear.
If you have to judge a person on a handshake, you’ve already failed at judging people. but yeah an overly “affected” handshake is definitely a bit of a red flag
Viewing strong handshakes as a sign of weakness, is a sign of weakness.
Like, how insecure do you have to be to try and classify people as weak because they like to shake hands firmly?
Trying to crush someone hand when shaking it is ridiculous, but so is the “dead fish” handshake too. Just a simple light firm handshake is all you need.
If someone has to validate themselves by squeezing your hand with unnecessary pressure, it is a good sign that they are following an “Alpha” male scam.
Shit like this is why this generation is turning into pansies.
I view it as a sign of disrespect, lack of consideration & lack of empathy. There’s not exactly much mental bandwidth going on like “ooh, I have to dominate him with a handshake” it’s usually just you got taught to shake hard and are too stupid to question any acquired knowledge
The moment I get my hand squeezed I want nothing more to do with you. Deal canceled.
I’m downvoting because it’s a popular opinion
I agree the goal isn’t to crush the other person’s hand however I think that it should be a solid clasp and with a straight wrist. It really sends the wrong impression in my opinion when you have a limp wrist or they just kinda grab your fingers and shake them.
I squeeze the shit out of my friends hands as a joke. When I’m making an impression, I balance it. Weak handshakes make an impression on me when I meet someone and in my experience do correlate (but not definitively) to the strength of someone’s character.
Depends what you mean. A strong handshake is a firm grip, but not squeezing.
To me it’s a sign of respect. Nothing feels worse than shaking someone’s limp hand. Just awkward.
Firm but I don’t wanna be gripping a dead fish hand makes me feel yucky
No for me the strength you give is about sincerity. If someone gives a weak handshake it’s cause they don’t care about what’s going on. The amount of strength relative to what’s expectable from someone is a sign of how much they’re interested.
Then obviously there are insecure people…
Firm but soft grip a solid but softly meaningful means the person appreciates you being there. Like no doctor has ever done in my life…just another paycheck
This is like the start of the gym bro competition or that one uncle trying to prove how “weight lifting= better than losing weight”. Starts out with a handshake, and next thing you know, it’s a DBZ brawl.
Clearly you don’t know many blue collar workers. All their handshakes are firm as hell and they are some of the most mentally and physically strong people I’ve ever met
I never perceived the squeeze as a show of strength, to me it’s about respect and a warmth , like I’m here , taking this hand shake seriously , I’m not half arsing it with a floppy fish
What about people like me who don’t shake hands?
Overly strong handshake is definitely an attempt at a ‘power move’ and comes across as weak imo.
I do not want to shake anyone’s hand. I can’t believe Covid was not the end of that. Unless your name is Paul Hollywood, keep your hand away from me.
A handshake should be firm, not limp. It doesn’t need to be a coconut breaking hardness, but there’s nothing worse than limp. That’s holding hands not shaking them.
Disagree.
A weak handshake, or a dead fish, is more telling than a firm one.
You can’t give a weak one (those really bother me) and going too hard is just someone trying too hard to act tough most times. Gotta have that happy medium.
We’re shaking hands again?
Nothing wrong with a firm handshake but no need to be death gripping someone. That being said, you sound like you have a wet noodle handshake.
Like Trump
The quality of someone’s handshake doesn’t mean anything
I curtsey every time
Its not about the strength of the squeeze, it’s mostly about having a solid hand, good placement/coordination, and not having a floppy wrist.
I assume that it’s all about showing the other person who’s “alpha”.
I’m a dude and I’ve always had somewhat weak wrists, but I do my best to give a firm handshake. However, I’ve shaken hands with other guys who feel like they’re trying to squeeze the life out of my hand.
On the other hand (pun intended), I’ve shaken hands with guys who only shake with their fingers. There’s probably a better way to describe that but, hopefully, you all understand what I mean.
Same, anytime a guy squeezes the shit out of my hand my immediate thought is “Oh, this dude is definitely compensating”
Didnt know shaking hands could be deep lol.
There is dead fish handshake. There is a solid proper handshake. Then there’s “I’m going to try to prove something by squeezing or pulling with this handshake.” Yeah the third is childish.
I’m a very large man who works with his hands on a daily basis ( butcher ) and I try my hardest not to just crunch people’s hands. Why are we out here trying to make people feel uncomfortable?
Weak-firm-strong. A firm handshake is a proper one. Too weak or too strong and that can say something about your character.
I think there’s a difference between a solid firm handshake and crushing someone’s hand. Crushing someone’s hand is definitely a sign of weakness.
What I hate is when someone grabs your hand at the base of the fingers instead palm to palm and squeezes harder than usual. I can’t tell if it’s some moronic power move or I they are just awkward as fuck.
I make it a point whenever I am interviewing a job to break the interviewers hand with my strong grip. This asserts my dominance and makes me the alpha. I then interview them and tell them their skills aren’t really what I am looking for but I will keep their resume on file. Then they leave in shame and I assume my role as manager.
A handshake must be firm, not strong. Strong handshakes immediatly tell that you feel the need to prove yourself.
I’m a skinny-ish guy, and I wear glasses. I usually have some sort of nerd-adjacent shirt or apparel on. I also work on power lines for a living and work against 20kv gloves every day. I have a beefy handshake, seriously strong. I keep my handshakes to a simple firm grasp. However I meet a lot of other dads while doing volunteer work and I know the type that will try to do the “Compensator Special” handshake. I usually win the inevitable escalation and the facial change in the wannabe is always worth the effort. I rarely have a high opinion of guys that try the handshake squeeze competition. I find it is the wannabe AlphaBro all bicep/notricep/what’s legday type or “Successfully Inherited My Successful Business” type. I only crook an eyebrow and barely hide a smirk. My wife knows to look for the interaction now and she loves it/laughs at it.
Firm handshakes are good. Strong and super weak handshakes are not. I hate a limp-wristed handshake.
The funniest shit happened to me with a guy who tried to crush my hand. I’m in my 30s, father in his 70s, so his friend was probably similarly 60s or 70s. I was meeting for the first time and reached my hand out, I would describe my hand shake as firm but never too hard but this fucking guy clamps down on my hand and squeezes. Well: game on, I ramp up my pressure and the guy goes “JESUS CHRIST OW!!!” And pulls his hand back. Asks why I squeezed so hard and I said “I was just matching his death grip” and he got this look on his face like he kinda realized he had gone to hard but he wasn’t used to someone having a stronger grip and squeezing back
I like fist bumps better.
I like giving Vulcan salutes, now. No, germ sharing, a visual representation of my dexterity, and fine, positive messages.
I always try to crunch their fingers when I do a handshake. Last one was a 11 years old. He’s not going to be practicing writing for a while. What a loser
I don’t do it intentionally. People keep telling me I have a strong handshake but like I feel like the bones in my hand are cracking every time I’m forced into one
As I sit here on a bucket exercising my grip strength… I agree! Lol
You made this same post twice
Agreed. The amount of times I ( 26 year old woman ) have shaken hands with a man who made a point to crush me with his hands is crazy
Id like to take it a step further and say handshakes are dumb to begin with unless im trying to do a shady business deal and the guy is wearing baggy sleeves.
Just start dapping people up. Doesn’t matter their age, gender, race, religion, or creed. If they return the dap it’s like 👀 and if they don’t, then they’re the uncool one.
I squeeze a medium amount but let out a sexual grunt as I do, it asserts dominance better.
Um ok. Are you speaking of a firm handshake? I see that the same as a strong handshake. Nothing wrong with either.
You got a limp wrist or something?
Counterpoint: If you’ve ever shaken someone’s hand that has given you the limp-noodle handshake (not polished and intimate, limp-noodle), it feels very strange. I agree with you that if it is a handcrushing handshake, it becomes a sign of weakness, but I think a firm handshake is just good manners.
That’s why it’s called a shake, not a crush