I’ve never really been into hugging. It’s not that I hate it—I just feel kind of awkward and uncomfortable when it happens. Even with close friends or family, I’d rather wave, fist bump, or just say hi.
But sometimes people act like it’s rude or assume something’s wrong if I don’t go in for a hug. It makes me feel guilty even though it’s just a personal preference.
Do others feel like this too? And how do you navigate situations where people expect physical affection but you’re just not into it?
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i’m not a hugger and pretty upfront, i usually just say “i’m not a hugger” though i’ve learned in some situations a hug is needed, either by the other person or sometimes even myself and it kinda cancels out that uncomfortable feeling and actually feels good.
Grew up in an Asian household and I feel you. Hate the moment a hug as a greeting or goodbye is expected, except for family. There’s no way out of it without coming off as an asshole so you just have to do it. Learn to read the moment so it’s not awkward and just reciprocate.
I believe that personality is a key factor in showing physical affection such as hugging. We have two daughters both raised the same, but with different personalities, and one is a big hugger and the other isn’t. Otherwise they both are very warm people, but quite different on the hugging.
For me I just ‘hate’ hugs with certain people. A lot of them relatives, whereas I don’t mind hugs as much when I get them often from someone I am physically attracted to. Because then I usually get more of them and thus ‘get used to them’ and can appreciate them more. I grew up with few and ‘obligatory’ hugs which really made it a miserable experience. Might be something in your case aswell?
Like I like my sibling we have a incredibly deep relationship but we just don’t hug really so when we do it’s very off. I don’t really navigate the situation as much as I try to find ways to avoid it. Imagine X relative is to stay over I go “oh let me help you with the bags” or I’ll carry something like to show I got my hands full. Sometimes I really had to say no though with the people who can take it. I am not sure what’s the right way, because it can depend on culture, situation and family