More or less, I (24M) started talking to a guy (24M) about a month ago. Things were looking well, went on a couple dates and talked constantly. We both still find each other very attractive. But after this last date this past weekend, he texted me that he felt it was starting to feel forced and couldn’t feel much romance (not like there was much of a chance to show it since I was trying to respect his boundaries of PDA and intimacy). He couldn’t really elaborate other than that I wasn’t the problem it was him and other issues that he thinks we wouldn’t be a good fit. He didn’t elaborate in what those were and I was left basically stuck in love with him. Still am. Now it’s been 5 days and I’m still not over him. I care about him deeply, romantically and find him still sexually attractive. He wants to stay good friends and possibly even fwb. Which he did go into about having some but stopped out of respect for me. But, idk what to do or feel seeing that all I can think about is being with him and wanting to be in a relationship still with him. Let alone idk if I could handle being intimate with him without being something more serious relationship wise.
Im trying to respect his boundaries and space, and he does feel comfortable with me asking questions and wants me to feel like I’m a safe space with him. But how can I when I feel like I’m going to be hurt with him until we are a thing, or going to be hurt without him. I’ve been unable to focus at work, everything seems depressing compared to the last month, my heart constantly feels between beating out of my chest or sunk into my stomach. I’m always wanting to text him or plan something to meet up. Idk what’s the best course of action that’ll keep him in my life and hopefully be in a relationship with him. He says he wishes he could feel different than feel “forced”. But, idk.. I love him and I’m afraid to both lose him and my own mental health trying to keep and win him over. What do I do?
TL;DR – I’m in love over a guy who can’t see himself in a relationship with me romantically, saying it felt “forced” on the drive back from the second date. I’m stuck still in love over him and can’t help but want him. Unsure what to do.
Comments
Give it time, 5 days isn’t enough to get over a relationship. You have to respect the guy’s feelings just like he accepted yours by not being fwb. Now is the time to put energy into yourself, do what makes you happy. You like guitar ? Then practice. You like sport ? Then go out on hikes. Take this opportunity to hang out with friends or grow closer to friends or other people.
It will be difficult and it may hurt for a while but eventually you’ll get over it.