Sudden change in lifestyle with my (31M) wife (30F)
- Wife and I agreed to have no kids very early in relationship. Both still currently on same page.
- Very limited relationship with neices and nephews. Eg once or twice a year and Xmas and Bday presents.
- Wife moved away from family before we met due to family dynamics. Recent years gets on well, being away from them and having small doses really helps.
- My younger sister had a drug addiction while pregnant (thankfully sober since birth). Wife said we wouldnt take care of the baby or help financially. I had no intention of doing this anyway.
- Wifes sister has tragically died recently unexpectedly
- Understandably wife has shifted attitude with family. Wanting us to spend whole of every 2nd weekend together with us doing the travelling, seems we also have a blank cheque for birthday parties/gifts and some holidays for neices and nephews. We never talked about this, she just started saying it to her family and following through with purchases etc
- Obviously extremely traumatic and period of grief will be ongoing for my wife. That is my main concern. Obviously extremely sad situation for neices and nephews also. Feel very sorry for them.
- My problem very minor compared to their struggles. I can be by my wifes side without reddit help. So dont think I’m focusing on my problem over these other much more important problems
- However, this is obviously not how we had planned our relationship. I am feeling anxious for what the future holds. Not sure if I just need to put big boy pants on or if I am just in feeling this way? And then how do I even mention this to my wife while she is grieving? My concern is I dont say anything, but in 12 months time I’m at my wits end and I blindside her with this news, all the while the poor neices and nephews have just built up a really great connection with her. Probably if we talked about it we could reach good compromise but it just seems silly to burden her with this at this time.
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A sudden death in the family can seriously change someone’s perspective on life, I’d say you need to redo that discussion you guys had early in the relationship about family and go from there
Just be an adult and communicate.
Jeez
It’s really not that hard .
Set it up nicely.
A text that says “hey can we talk? Want to go to dinner tonight”?
But let her grieve in her own way. This too shall pass.
How long has it been since her sister died?