My MIL loves buying toys, clothes, and “stuff” for my baby. At first, I appreciated her excitement, but it’s becoming overwhelming. She brings multiple toys a week, even when we’ve said we don’t need more. She’s already talking about going all out for Christmas when my baby will only be 11 months and I am afraid she dominates our first christmas with baby.
I casually mentioned to her MIL (my husband’s grandmother) that I might eventually need to ask her to slow down, and she immediately said, “Oh, you HAVE to do that! She really has to stop. That’s how she spoiled her kids. And when they were little, if she didn’t like one of the toys or clothes I got for them, she would get rid of them.” She even shared examples: an outfit she bought the kids that was never worn, and a toy car MIL swapped out for another one she liked better.
Hearing that made me realize this isn’t new behavior. It’s not just generosity, it’s control. She decides what’s “good enough” and overrides other people’s choices, even family.
It also means that she had no problem hurting her own MIL’s feelings if it meant doing what she thought to be the best for her kids, which I admire, I have to admit. Therefore, I’ll be doing the same to her.
I don’t want my home overrun with toys, and I don’t want my son to associate every visit with getting “stuff.” More importantly, I want Christmas to be magical and manageable — not dominated by MIL’s shopping spree.