I wanna know if he actually wants to date me or is looking for something else if you get what i mean lol.
Weve talked through text only rn and he gives me constant compliments, they’re great of course but i get the feeling that hes just trying to get one thing in the end.
He said im wife material and that im beautiful and tbh if he’s actually being honest hes my dream guy, but it’s starting to seem to good to be true.
I know i should wait till we meet up in person and get to know each other but im scared to put my heart in it as what if hes trying to trick me ?
Talking to a guy for 2 days and he said im wife material
r/Advice
Comments
Sounds like you might already be spotting red flags that he is a narcissist trying to love-bomb you. LISTEN TO THAT ICK. He is making a lot of grand statements about you even though he doesn’t even really know you. If it keeps happening and/or you get other signs of narcissistic behavior, RUNRUNRUN AWAY!!!!
I wouldn’t write him off completely yet. Meet in person (*in a public place, for coffee or ice cream not dinner, etc) to suss out the vibe. Also to see if he actually us who he says he is.
Get to know him, take it slow. Get to actually know each other.
Absolutely turn heel and walk away, that’s lovebombing and it will end badly.
Build the friendship…dont skip this crucial step and dive into “Romance” mode.
Michael Bolton song 1989
How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?
How can we start over when the fighting never ends?
Baby, how can we make love if we can’t make amends?
How can we be lovers if we can’t be, can’t be friends?
PS I am married 31 yrs now
Well, you don’t know him yet at all so give him a chance. And compliments about your looks are cheap – any stranger can say that. The compliments that matter are from someone who knows you and says “You know what I really admire about you?”, and then follows that up with an observation about your character that took time and thought to make.
people on reddit dont know what lovebombing is xD meet him and talk to him
Looking for a quick hookup or more likely preparing you for a scam. Time to delete, especially if he refuses to meet you in person.
Trust your instincts. Take your time and meet up before diving deeper.
How would you rate your appearance? Are you that hot that this guy is going to fall in love with you and find you so enticing that he can’t wait to marry you? Or is he a predator? Use your noodle.
He said your wife material before meeting you in person? Slightly concerning but I would go on the date and go in open minded. If you continue to feel he’s love bombing, then remove yourself from the situation.
Unless he was joking, major red flag.
he’s love bombing you. you’ve been talking for 2 days so ofc he can say whatever he wants and acts however he wants in order to appear as the dream guy. but that doesn’t mean that’s his true personality. everyone fakes themselves to a degree when they meet someone new
he’s love bombing you. you’ve been talking for 2 days so ofc he can say whatever he wants and acts however he wants in order to appear as the dream guy. but that doesn’t mean that’s his true personality. everyone fakes themselves to a degree when they meet someone new
Too soon for him to be talking like that. Sounds like love bombing. If you enjoy that sort of thing, you’re more likely to abused wife material, and he knows it.
Once talked to a person for months
Met him in person for coffee. Within 30 seconds I know it wasn’t going to work out. Within 20 minutes I hated him.
Words are cheap. Ignore them.
Unless you meet him in person none of this matters. I could write you the sweetest message but be a horrible person IRLA. You’ll never know
Imo he is saying that most likely just to get in your pants lol.
Yeah, he’s been watching tooo many videos on what to say to women to impress them. Love bombing 101.
He’s plotting for sex
Your heart shouldn’t be involved yet. Enjoy the compliments, but take it slow. See him on the regular. You’ll find out soon. Remember, people can be different in person vs online.
Too soon
Haha. Dunno what’s funnier. You thinking that he could know you’re wife material in 2 days or that he’s your “dream guy” that you’ve never even met.
I hate that phrase so much. If I was a woman I would walk away from any man who called me wife material. I suspect he’s been red pilled.
It’s not necessarily that love bombing thing. The wife material compliment is often said just upon meeting someone in an aloof way. You gotta give em a chance in person or you’ll never know
A lot of potential partners, no matter genser can seem like the “dream partner” or “spouse material” after 48 hours because you barely have any information of them!
Isn’t it interesting how that voice in your head, intuition, subconscious self has a better idea of what’s going on than our conscious selves? We spend so much time trying to talk that half into things only to be proven wrong (or correct depending on your perspective).
Your “gut” is usually right…
Love bombing. I love my now GF and fell for her quickly, but two days without even seeing each other in person? Love bombing.
Sometimes, when you know, you know. However bro should have been smart enough to keep that to himself. Especially after only 2 days.
🚩
Sounds like those guys on Facebook who send a friend request and say they’re a doctor with a small child and they’re attracted to my picture, which is of a sunflower.
Sounds like the beginning of a ’Love Bomb’ campaign on his end. Tread carefully.
Friends first. He’s being unrealistic. Are you sure you’re not being scammed? My friend had one of these who even spoke of marriage and wanted to move in together—online writing only ! Later he said he had a business trip and lost his wallet. My foolish friend sent money and then discovered he was’t even real. She lost about $500. So if he is real he’s unrealistic. Meet in a public place and tell him he needs to be friend first. You don’t need all the mush, he might be playing games or possibly desperate for love, it’s hard to tell.
It sounds like he’s lovebombing you. Trust your gut and try not to ignore any red flags.
That is “lovebombing” and it is a red flag, sorry.
You don’t know what this means because you don’t know him.
Way too much negativity from women on a post with little context that’s probably 500 characters long lol
It’s great that your eyes are open and you’re not falling easy but you two may actually be the perfect people for each other as well. Many men know very quickly when they’ve found their wife.
I met my wife in a Facebook comment section 11 years ago and I told my mom within the first few replies in the DM she sent me that she was my future wife. We spent the next two days on the phone with each other and she moved in about 2 months later.
We’ve built an amazing life together since then.
Just go out on a date, take it day by day, and see how it goes. You’ll know soon how real it is.
Good luck!
Hold on. He’s your “dream guy”, but you’ve only spoken to him over text?
SLOWWWWWW DOWN. GUARD YOUR HEART. SOUL. UTERUS
Lovebombing shit , he’ll change in weeks
Just wait
While there’s a chance it could be “love bombing”, keep in mind there are actually decent guys out there. And if you’re coming from a past that includes not being treated the best, or even having been treated well, there are different bars from different people.
What’s considered high bar treatment from one person could be seen as the bare minimum from another. Some people genuinely are just on another level when it comes to where they are in their life. And that can really scare and appear as a lot of red flagish type behavior if you’re used to looking at it as red flag stuff. But it’s so opposite of red, it’s not funny.
See it through, listen to your gut, don’t let your guard down. And remember, a facade usually falls away around 3 months.
Best of luck
Be careful could be crazy
This is a red flag and seems like love bombing Manipulative men always seem like your dream guy until they don’t.They often attempt to move extremely fast in relationships so they can get to their favorite part the abuse. Normal guys aren’t talking marriage after two conversations
2 days of only texting and he’s saying you’re wife material?
Honestly, if some stranger on the internet asked you for advice, you’d probably say: “He seems like a desperate liar”
Sure, he could just be a clueless romantic, but not sure if that makes it better.
Gaslighting
updateme
>2 days
>constant compliments
run
Yeah that’s some red flag stuff. He’s love bombing you to sweeten you up. As a guy I’ve unfortunately used this tactic. Being young and stupid just to get something I wanted. Keep your blinders off read in between the lines. When you meet him you’ll see more.
I spoke to a person for almost a year, we live far away and he works with particular shifts, so it happened that when I was free he wasn’t free. The first few months were a beautiful friendship, then I went abroad and we decided to meet when I returned, it would also have been my birthday! When I came back he disappeared and as soon as I asked him why he blocked me everywhere!! Never fall in love online again!!!
Run!
Without risk there is no reward… without the lows we can’t truly enjoy the highs…
Don’t be stupid about it, but I’d say go for a relationship, but take it slow. Make sure they’re being honest about who they are and what they want… and let things go where they may.
I love this quote from David Chappelle in the movie, ‘You’ve Got Mail’. “I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.” Take the relationship one step (level) at a time…
My wife and I met online back in the late 90’s when it was weird. We were honest about who we were. What we liked, and disliked. And we’ve now been together more than 25 years…
hey i just wanted to tell you as well , you are wife material. see how easy that is? anyone can do that via texts.. love yourself more its been 2 days. jfc
I think the person who talks about marriage before even meeting in person is a bit of red flag.
How does anyone know a person so well to think the person is wife material? It’s just absurd. And smells like a con.
We call that “love bombing”. You two haven’t even met yet.
Quick marry him tomorrow. Get pregnant before next week. Run!!!!
You say in a comment that if you meet up with him, this will be your first date ever, and that combined with him saying “wife material” and you saying “dream guy” makes me nervous for you. Hold old are you? How old is he? Do the two of you have similar levels of experience? That’s important.
It’s easy to want to skip the early stages of dating someone — the getting to know them before feelings are there, the slowly finding out if initial compatibility is going to grow into something bigger. But it is incredibly important that you don’t skip those early stages, because the things that make for a good relationship can be very different than the things that make for a great first date. If you decide too soon that this person might be, must be, your future life-partner, you’re going to try to ignore the signs that they’re not that. This leads to very unhappy relationships.
It’s also easy to want to skip the early stages of being a person who dates. Meeting people, getting to know them, finding out how bad– but survivable– a first date can be. The idea of meeting “The One” on your very first date is attractive, but don’t let it be so attractive that you convince yourself it has happened when there’s no way to know yet if it has.
It’s possible you want to date only with an eye towards marriage (ie, no casual relationships that you know won’t go anywhere) and that’s okay. But it doesn’t mean being serious with someone just because you’ve been on a date, or that not wanting to date them again means you’re hurting them, or that if they don’t want to date you again, you’ve failed or are damaged.
I once heard a young religious person say that he was dating for marriage, and that meant going on quite a few first, second, even third or fourth dates. But then he’d realize that the woman he was dating wasn’t his future wife, she was someone else’s future wife. Or maybe she’d realize he was someone else’s future husband. And why it could be very sad and disappointing, they weren’t going to spend a lot of time fighting it and trying to make things work, because why waste time with someone else’s future spouse when you could be out finding your own future spouse, who is out there looking for you?
While I don’t agree theres only “one” person for each of us, I do I think this is a great way to look at it (religious or not).
You aren’t going to be compatible with everyone, and that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you. They’re perfect for someone else, as are you.
Isn’t that love bombing?
You are right he is your DREAM guy i.e. there is a fantasy in your head that is unlikely to have anything to do with the actual person. What is in your head is literally too good to be true. And I hate using “literally” but it fits here.
He is either like you, a fantasy daydreamer, or a BSer who recognizes someone easily BSed.
Do not put your heart in a on-existent relationship with someone you have never even laid eyes on. Why haven’t you met?
The man knows what wants and is honest.
Probably. That also tells you that if he knows what wife material is, than he is also very familiar with girls who are not. Tell him you won’t be intimate outside of marriage and you will find out if he is husband material.
Dream guy after 2 days? This will end well lol
The question you should be asking yourself is “am I actually wife material?” Like has he asked you any questions about like your past relationships, what you like, etc.? Just be honest with yourself and you will be able to make the right choice.
i never understood that phrase “wife-material” it implies a person is an object
I’ve been married for 22 years. Five minutes after meeting my wife the first time I asked her to marry me. She thought I was joking, laughed and said she was waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up. Six months later we went on our first date…after she broke up with her BF.
I wouldn’t think too much into it, go out on a date and see what happens. You don’t have to put anything into it in the beginning.
Love bombing.
Run it’s all bullshit, His standards for a wife must be low if yall haven’t met. You know its not right thats why you posted this.
Don’t Rush. Take time. I had similar experience..he used to tell me I’m very intelligent as i read books and all but on 10th day of conversation he just body shamed his ex while talking to me..and i froze. i blocked him from everywhere. So they might compliment you but don’t fall for it . Talk to him, know him as a person.
If this isn’t a romance scam, he’s just immature or lacks actual human in-person interactions.
The problem with online interactions, especially texting or chatting, is that words can really persuade your brain to believe what you’re reading.
So tread carefully Miss Environmental Eye.
Go for it! You won’t know where it leads until you try. If you let him go you’ll always wonder was he the one!
Being friends is extremely important. I think guys that jump to such statements so quickly are being overly romantic and not practical. You should just spend time with him and get to know him and let things gradually develop rather than run into things.
Someone who said after 3 days of texting that you’re “wife material” is someone not worth your time
Here’s some reasons
And that’s leaving out romance scams
Run.
Yeah right. Perhaps he’s looking to get a green card to go along with a member parking space.
“Material”? Get to know each other.