Tell his wife?

r/

I (18F) have amassed a small following on Twitter mainly for my very thin appearance. A man dmed me a couple days ago and throughout the past few days we’ve just been making small talk and on his end, flirty comments, most related to my size (your waist is so small I could wrap my hands around it, so many girls must be jealous of you, tiny perfect body, etc) He also occasionally sends me money, I’ve never sent anything even slightly lewd but have received around 200 dollars in 2 days so far from him. He also has talked about purchasing me bikinis and other things like outfits. He even asked me if I was single (I said yes and he said him as well) and asked I’d feel comfortable going on a date with him. After a deep dive on his account I see an engagement announcement post of him and his very much PREGNANT wife from 3 years ago. I’m unsure of where to go from here. Do I attempt to find and contact his wife and potentially destroy his family? Would she even do anything about it or just live out the rest of her life married to him for the sake of their child? Im not even sure i could find a way to contact her anyways. Do i just seize communication with him and pray i was the only young girl he was trying to pursue?

Comments

  1. InayaRae Avatar

    Honestly that dude’s a creep and dead wrong for lying like that, cut him off ASAP. If you can find his wife, maybe tell her, but don’t stress yourself tryna play detective either.

  2. Academic-Coyote-6011 Avatar

    How old is he? … you’re a teenager, and an age difference is going to tell a lot

  3. Sharp-Cloud1219 Avatar

    Engagement doesn’t mean he actually got married and even if he did it could mean divorced already. But I would simply ask him about it. “I get a lot of messages from men and you seemed nice but before I went out with you I wanted to check you out for my safety and saw you were engaged and she was pregnant. Can you tell me more about that? Are you married? Do you have kids?” Come at it openly and hear him out and then go from there.

    You’re 18. You’re a teenager. How old is this guy who was old enough to be married with a kid? If he’s anywhere over 26 he’s a creeper. I have a daughter your age and I tell her the same thing.

  4. Opposite_Disaster107 Avatar

    Block him now before he starts demanding that you either perform a service for the money that he’s given you already or that you pay it back and he’s probably going to threaten to destroy your life if you don’t pay the money back so just block him now and avoid any future drama with this man. He’s clearly going through a midlife crisis and wants to cheat on his wife and put his family at risk. Don’t fall for the bullshit, honey.

  5. Sad-Veterinarian1809 Avatar

    First off a man sending you money is never doing it to make your world a better place for you. It’s a hook that he’s hoping that you’re going to bite. The compliments and promising to buy you things…its all grooming. The dishonesty? This is one creepy and toxic man. I’d tell him that you’re going to expose him to his wife but let it go. He needs to reconsider his life which can only be done while freaking out. Learn from this because if you continue displaying yourself on social media for attention you’re going to go through this again and again and again.

  6. Efficient-Border6863 Avatar

    You accepted money from him.  You know what you’re doing.  Return it if you’re not comfortable and cut off communications

  7. Creative_Half4392 Avatar

    You can just stop talking to him.

    If he’s doing it with you, he’s doing this with multiple people.

    But if you don’t care and like the money, then go with it! Using men for their stupidity can benefit you. 🙂

  8. mermaidkindreamer Avatar

    The issue with this, if I were in her shoes, is she’s pregnant and he’s giving money away that could go towards the baby. I would definitely want to know. It may not be enough to totally break things off between them; she will probably stay with him and you will probably be a sore spot for future arguments to come. After all, he is her fiance and father of her child. Things like that make it hard to just cut a person off. The beauty of this for you in your position is you can. You can totally cut it off. You have nothing binding yourself to this man. Consider yourself blessed in that regard. And maybe this can be a lesson you learn at your young age that lots of men unfortunately can’t be trusted and when you do the detective work you usually find out something you didn’t want to. It’s fucked up he’s already doing this before he’s even been married to her and parented the kid for a good couple/few years. That’s usually when men start acting like this dude did. But I would say most would not actually dish out money to their younger interest. That is taking money away from his actual family. Maybe give her a heads up if possible, but it’s not your duty to “save” this woman from him.

  9. Turbulent-Average179 Avatar

    I wouldn’t contact his wife but would definitely block him.

  10. SladeGreenGirl Avatar

    I will always tell the wife, I don’t care if she’s my best friend or a perfect stranger. Women need to know the nonsense their husbands are getting up to.

    You don’t know this man and you don’t owe him a shroud of secrecy concerning his efforts to cheat on his wife. If they’re separated/divorced now or whatever then that’s fine, she won’t care. If they are very much together, you’ve saved her from a life time of deceit.

    I would try to find her on Instagram/facebook and gleam from her posts whether they are actively together or not.

    If they are, I’d send her the screenshots and leave it at that. Answer any questions she has and promise her you have now blocked him and will never speak with him again.

    But that’s just me, some people would rather let her find out 20 years later when a secret love child probably shows up at the door wondering why his daddy was never there for him! 🙄

  11. Bluegorrila115 Avatar

    You know what your doing …..

  12. Maddest_Maxx_of_All Avatar

    Cashing in on an eating disorder fetish?

  13. Wonderful_Degree_431 Avatar

    Honey the first rule of sex work is confidentiality. Destroying your John’s lives is immoral and bad for business.

  14. SallySue54321 Avatar

    Tell his wife. You wouldn’t be destroying his family, he destroyed it. Don’t worry about any revenge on his part as he looks like the creep being 33, married and hitting on an 18yo.

    If I was her I absolutely would want someone to tell me. Especially since you’re 18, that would be near enough make me vomit. Would it be soul crushing? Oh yes 100% but she doesn’t deserve someone like that. After that I would move on, it doesn’t matter if she stays with him or not because that’s not your problem. I doubt you’re the only one considering he’s been so casual about it, even sending you money.

  15. HeyLie3890 Avatar

    As much as I believe in sorority and we should help each other women this kind of situations are more tricky and could go against you…
    She (most likely) has had some clues of his off behaviour in the past but has chosen to ignore them thus far. If she is in denial she will not welcome your message, could put the blame on you etc.
    I agree with all – cut all contact, block him and let her find out at her own pace (she will, eventually). That’s the best for you.

  16. Affectionate_Emu7189 Avatar

    Stay far away from him

  17. Curioucapricorn Avatar

    Here is my suggestion. First look at the rather fucked yo scenario that played out in Australia when an OF content creator was in the exact same situation and found out that the guy was her step dad. She gave him one chance to tell her mom by the next day or something. Here’s my advice. Take screenshots of his texts and do the same. That way you are protected and safe. Tell him you are uncomfortable with his pursuit. And give him the opportunity to come clean to his wife on his own. Make him own up to it. That way you aren’t the messenger who will get shot. You can block him and your personal data remains safe and if anything happens you have the photos to go to the police.

  18. PedroPedroPedro23 Avatar

    so you were interested until you found he was married and now you want to destroy him. 😂 Just leave him alone why do you even care about anything else. dont get involved.

  19. KalamariNights Avatar

    Don’t go on a date, don’t tell his missus but do rinse him for every penny you can.

    She will find out eventually, don’t let that get in the way of the bag.

  20. Simple_Mix_4995 Avatar

    Have self respect

  21. peacelovecookies Avatar

    Make up your mind whether or not you want to be some kind of sex worker and take money from
    strange men or whether you want to steer clear of all of that stuff. Can’t have it both ways. If you’re going to rat out your customers, maybe it’s a sign that you’re not comfortable doing this kind of work. Don’t get involved in your client’s personal lives if you want to be successful at what you’re doing. You don’t have to take money from him, you know. You can return what he’s given you, and block him.

  22. deplorableme16 Avatar

    I hope I don’t have to tell your wife !

  23. Optimal_Swordfish780 Avatar

    You should just stop talking to him. For all you know his wife (or fiancé) knows and it’s something he can do.

    You’re an adult so while it’s creepy (although it seems you didn’t find it as creepy when you were accepting his money) it’s not illegal and there’s nothing to suggest he’s targeting minors.

    Just move on

  24. Standard_Hawk_1660 Avatar

    You 💯need to tell her about this and provide her screenshots and proof of the money transfer. It’s her choice to stay with a cheater

  25. mrcorde Avatar

    so you are on OF ? Should someone contact your parents and tell them how you earn your money?

  26. SpiritedPersimmon961 Avatar

    Mind your own business. Happy to take his money but somehow thinking you have some moral high ground? You’re a hypocrite, don’t you dare ruin that woman’s future by telling on him. He’s a slimeball but guess what …so are you.

  27. Gymratmate Avatar

    Be a big girl and block him then move on with your life. Or just do what most modern women do milk him for everything you can get. Then tell his wife so she can.

  28. Puzzled_Spinach7023 Avatar

    Just take the money and consider yourself lucky. Why on earth would you throw a hand grenade into someone else’s life (him and her) over some flirtatious dms and a small amount of money?

  29. R0ygb1V_ Avatar

    I would check your own morals.

    Is it normal to accept money and messages like this and consider dating? I don’t hear anything about that being weird, so I guess its normal to be courted like you’re a professional.

  30. TheVampireDuchess Avatar

    Honestly, you’re 18, that is tok much drama for someone so young. Just block him and cut him off. Men never give anything to a female for free.

  31. user032222 Avatar

    I am a freshly 18 year old girl, forgive me for making rash decisions but I hardly think our interactions are comparable to sex work. The most the man has seen of me is my midriff and eyes, I did not ask him for money and I had no intention of ever meeting up with him. I never once reciprocated the flirty conversation.

  32. SignalBaseball9157 Avatar

    I’m more concerned about your very thin appearance than anything else, I hope you’re getting the nutrition you need, being underweight carries more risks than being overweight

  33. Responsible-Milk-259 Avatar

    Why do you care? Take his money and get on with life. Destroying his home life (if indeed he’s still with the woman) benefits you how? Not sure how you can be ‘selling yourself’ online and have such morals.

  34. MunchMuppet Avatar

    Oh ffs you took money and gifts you encouraged his behavior and now you want to get righteous? Cut him off block him and get on with your life

  35. OldSchoolPrinceFan Avatar

    You’re trying to blow up his life over a 3 year old picture?

    Think about it. If they were still together, there would be more of an internet presence. Just ask him. If he says yes, walk away.

  36. Square_Band9870 Avatar

    A 33 yr old pursuing an 18 yr old is sus, especially commenting on how small you are. 🚩🚩🚩

    What are you doing? This is not dating. Please think about how you’re living before you end up on a crime podcast.

  37. dragonrider1965 Avatar

    You don’t know if he’s married , the last wife picture was 3 years ago . A lot can happen in 3 years.

  38. SaraDee1224 Avatar

    Or you could capitalize on the relationship with him and enjoy the gifts that he gives. You don’t have to do anything physical or sexual with him on the date. But you might possibly get bigger and better gifts from your friend. I mean why not

  39. MeBaeMe Avatar

    I think you should probably worry about your bulimia issue instead of outing this man, but that’s just me