My MIL (50sF) and I (26F) dont have a relationship. We are cordial but it always feels extremely fake. She has a history of being passive aggressive, snide and making off handed comments directed towards me. My husband and I had a talk with her but its been radio silence for the most part. Only see and talk to her on holidays/special occasions other than that my existence is pretty much ignored. We have each other on socials and she will make a post for my birthday and our wedding anniversary and comment on things but once again it feels fake as shes never made an effort to have any sort of relationship with me. I feel like shes just like that on social media to make herself look like a good MIL when in fact shes not.
My DH was gone for a few weeks out of state for work and not once did she ever reach out to me to ask if Im okay or need anything. Im a strong independent woman and can handle myself but I feel like thats common courtesy. My folks have texted my husband to check in on him while he was away on their own multiple times.
I just hate the fakeness of everything with her. She says she likes me and loves me but ignoring my existence and the comments have told me other wise. I think how she treats me the majority of the year shows her true feelings outside of the few special occasions. Whenever I see her name I instantly get anxious.
Before I deleted or removed her I would of course talk to my DH about it and get his thoughts and feelings on it. Am I overreacting?
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Other posts from /u/throwaway99911250:
Finally talked to MIL about her passive aggressive comments, 4 months ago
How to deal with MIL that guilt trips because she needs to be needed, 5 months ago
MIL complaining DH Doesn’t Call Her Anymore, 7 months ago
How to get over MIL not liking you , 10 months ago
^(To be notified as soon as throwaway99911250 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe throwaway99911250 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Per you, you’re a strong, independent woman who can handle herself, and there’s no indication you live in a dangerous area or have physical or cognitive limitations – so, given the context, I disagree that it’s “common courtesy” to see if you’re okay or need anything. To me, it would feel patronizing.
It sounds like you don’t like her much. Take it as a blessing that she gave you the gift of leaving you alone.
Delete her and then tell him as a heads up. It’s your personal social media, you don’t need his permission to delete her.