The best names for kids are ones that are impossible to google like John Smith or Chiquita Banana

r/

Data safety is a serious issue and people don’t understand it at all. People clown on all the parents who named their daughter Khaleesi or Daenyrs but those kids are going to be especially hard to google—especially the ones who’s parents change their surname to Targaryen.

On the other hand Tragedeigh Analice the 3rd is gonna be so easy to zero in on.

All those people who named their kid Khaleesi a decade ago were lowkey data security geniuses.

Comments

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  2. JustbyLlama Avatar

    You know, you got a point there.

  3. Intelligent_Pop1173 Avatar

    You make a good point when it comes to fictional characters and basic names. And yes lol tragedeighs like McKeinsleigh and Seidneigh pop up those people’s social media accounts right at the top of Google search results. Frightening

  4. a_horde_of_rand Avatar

    On the other hand, if you want your BAND to stand out, you’d better be unique, because have you tried to Google the band James?

  5. mandela__affected Avatar

    I don’t care that social media companies have my personal data. It doesn’t affect me at all.

  6. Positive-Attempt-435 Avatar

    I have a super unique name. The only other people who have my name are my dad and my grandpa. I got arrested when I was younger and it took so long to stop showing up on Google. It’s still archived somewhere, but it’s not front page anymore. My first name is actually very common. My last name is really bad. Obviously I won’t say it here, but I got bullied relentlessly as a kid over my last name alone. 

    When my dad was younger, he got arrested and it showed up in the paper and my grandpa was so mad. We aren’t junior or the third either, we all have different middle names. Paper doesn’t usually throw them in though. 

  7. anewleaf1234 Avatar

    Dude, anyone who wants to find your name can.

  8. Mammoth_Lychee_8377 Avatar

    The name Null causes problems with all sorts of systems, does that count?

  9. LazyUrbosa Avatar

    I do have a basic b name but my shit gets mixed up everywhere and I hate it

  10. techm00 Avatar

    I’m quite happy to have been issued a pretty bog standard name. Combined with my very carefully managing my online presence, I cannot be found via googling.

  11. smallblueangel Avatar

    Or, you know teach people to not use their real names on the internet.
    You can’t google me because i never used my real name on the internet

  12. IndependenceSelect54 Avatar

    As someone who used to work as an SEO Analyst, and now an eCommerce Analyst, I would say you’re absolutely correct.

  13. UnderlightIll Avatar

    As much as I have never liked my name, it is super common so good luck stalking me. Every school I went to often had someone with the exact same first and last name.

  14. Averagebaddad Avatar

    What happens if someone can find me on Google? And to 99.99999999999% of other people that can be found on Google?

  15. Spurdlings Avatar

    I have met a:

    * Lavoris (Mouth wash)

    * Merconium (Baby poop)

    * Latrine (toilet)

    * Malaria (disease)

    A girl at work years ago considered “Trablinka” because “it sounds good” and “I’ve heard it before.”

    It was a German concentration camp in WW2.

  16. donkthehardheaded Avatar

    my boyfriend’s name is basically the equivalent of john doe. we met on a dating app which made trying to find literally anything about him online before we met very difficult. he personally loves the anonymity it brings so although he doesn’t love his name he considers that a perk.

  17. McDuffle Avatar

    I’m totally with this. I’ve got a super common Chinese last name (Lee), but I’m Black and don’t have any East Asian features. So whenever I Google myself, it’s just pages of East Asian men.

    It’s always a treat meeting clients in person, on paper they’re expecting someone Asian, and over the phone I really lean into my aussie accent just to mess with expectations. Then when they meet this big brown guy in person, the look on their face is just priceless

  18. seth928 Avatar

    And that’s why I’m naming my daughter Piper Perri

  19. kgrimmburn Avatar

    I have a super unique name and it sucks. Because you can Google it and there I am. I have nothing to hide but if I did, I’d be screwed. Luckily, it’s also a very, very, very commonly misspelled name so people rarely have it right on any paperwork to be able to Google it.

  20. defneverconsidered Avatar

    This is more a showerthought

  21. urMOMSchesticles Avatar

    My name is so unique that the links that pop up on google are actually about me

  22. Ok-Razzmatazz-2277 Avatar

    I can confirm. My name is “Matt Smith”.

    Can you Google me? No. Can you find me? No. I’m a fucking ghost and I’m right behind you

  23. ShortUsername01 Avatar

    Or we could pursue capital punishment for data brokers and let people with normal names be just as protected as those with abnormal ones.

  24. Contemplating_Prison Avatar

    I google my name and i get nothing. You can do things to ensure you cant be googled. Its not hard. Anyone who knows what they are doing will still be able to find you though.

  25. Green_Barracuda_6662 Avatar

    I just don’t care about people googling me at all. Not one bit. Literally so stupid you think that’s an issue.

  26. bananapanqueques Avatar

    I know a John Robert Smith. He hates his name. Please don’t do that to your kid.

  27. VanCanMom Avatar

    I knew a guy named John who married a woman with last name of Smith so he took her last name and became John Smith.

  28. BakinandBacon Avatar

    I’m gonna name my first child Bigblackdick so if you wanna google it, that’s on you.

  29. LittleFairyOfDeath Avatar

    I am dying at the intense tone shift in the title. We have the totally normal John smith and then you hit us with chiquita banana

  30. Brief_Highlight_2909 Avatar

    And then there’s little Bobby tables

  31. slightlyunhingedlady Avatar

    I have a name that’s a thing in a place (think Bridge Florida) so next to impossible to google

  32. Pit-Viper-13 Avatar

    Somebody who shares my name killed themselves in the 2008 crash. It was creepy all the search results that came up on him when I googled myself.

  33. FooFootheSnew Avatar

    It’s why I’m scared to get a tattoo. I like them aesthetically, am not opposed to getting one morally, but if the Internet ever went away and shit hit the fan, I’d be alot harder to find without one.

    I also have a super common name and look. Only shitty part was back in the day with AIM and MSN messenger there would be multiple people out there with my name talking shit or being creeps to women, and I’d have to explain it wasn’t me.

  34. Pseudotm Avatar

    I never thought about it like this to be honest, take my downvote good sir.

  35. disneyho Avatar

    You lost me at Chiquita Banana.

  36. Eygam Avatar

    Yeah, I am sure it will be terribly hard to google Khaleesi Johnson.

  37. FamiliarRadio9275 Avatar

    This is actually a known fact when it comes to safety. downvote. 

  38. Single-Classroom-950 Avatar

    there is exactly one other person with my name on the entire planet so whenever you google me results are a mixture of me and her (who might be a 3rd cousin)

  39. Breddit2225 Avatar

    Did you know they used to print everyone’s name address and phone number in a big book and then send it out for free.

  40. Ideasforgoodusername Avatar

    My first and last name are the same except for one letter as a popular actress in my country. Whoever tries to google me will always get hit with the “Did you mean…“

  41. tubular1845 Avatar

    As soon as you add more context to the name like a state or city they’ve lived in this becomes entirely moot.

  42. Itchy_Ad_5958 Avatar

    kinda pointless
    coz anybody who ACTUALLY knows to find people with just their name and photo WILL find them regadless unless u never used the internet or live off the grid undrcover in the woods or remote areas

  43. CrustyHumdinger Avatar

    I have a good friend in Rome called Chiquita Banana

  44. DubiousPeoplePleaser Avatar

    John Smith? Yeah, hard to find. Chiquita Banana? Pretty easy to find. You’d think that it being a brand would make it harder, but it doesn’t. You can easily do searches for people that excludes the brand. And Khaleesi will have a last name so easy to find her too. How do I know? I find people all the time. Common normal names are hard. Unusual names, even the weird trend names, are easy as hell. 

  45. challengeaccepted9 Avatar

    All those people who named their kid Khaleesi a decade ago were lowkey data security geniuses.

    They’re only geniuses if they suspected a lot of other people would do it. Otherwise “Khaleesi Smith” would stick out on Google like a sore thumb.

    I’m not that generous.