I’m talking from my perspective (I’m a man in his midle 20’s) but this goes for both women and men, this is not a “dating as a guy sucks!! Women have it easier” type post.
The dating scene is just depressing, I take good care of myself and I don’t have low self-esteem, I have no problem starting friendly conversations to get to know the person, because of this some girls have shown interest in me, but the moment things seem to move forward they disappear and ghost me, fear of commitment seems to be the norm.
But let me tell you that, sadly, those were the best cases, I don’t want to talk about the cruel rejections, act like I don’t exist after weeks of talking non-stop, or things like that, sometimes I feel like I’m not being treated like an human. It is true that no one owes anything to anyone, but I only ask for a little decency and respect, and of course I don’t want to lose months of my life in a talking stage.
As for trying to talk to people in social media or dating apps…. for some people you are just a profile photo and you’ll find yourself as if you were talking to a wall, anyways thanks for listening to me ranting hahaha
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This is exactly how it is. I don’t even bother with any dating apps anymore because it’s just pathetic for me at this point lol. Even this weekend, I gave a guy my phone number on Friday and after a handful of messages he just stopped responding. I didn’t even say anything weird, he just decided I wasn’t worth it anymore I guess. And that was the first time I had given my phone number out like that in a while, safe to say I won’t be doing that again. I try not to take it personally anymore because after this many incidents there’s just no way. Idk what changed it but yeah dating is 1000% not what it used to be.
I meet people through dating apps. Because there is a huge demand for women, most act as if they are queens or princesses. To eliminate such people I just say hi in the first message. The royal women don’t reply. If she replies, it is easy to understand whether you are good match or not.
I am 56 so the women I match are over 40. Their needs and expectations are different from a 20 years old. I can’t help you what to talk with them, you must use trial and error to learn what to talk about.
In any case meeting in real life is better. I meet new people through courses, e.g. piano and tango, or nongovernmental organizations. Important note I don’t go to such places to meet women. I really want to learn piano and I am a very political person.
I hope this helps. Good luck and beware of scammers.
I gave up about 7 yrs ago. Pretty happy since.
lol it’s you big bro. I’m 25 and dating has been great. Put the time in but remember to have fun. I think everyone goes into dating expecting things, instead of just trying to have fun and get to know the person.
I feel you dude. I’m now in my late 20’s and it hasn’t gotten any easier.
It feels like if you are lucky enough to meet someone or match with someone, they either ghost you almost immediately or as soon as you set up a date. 4/5ths of the time I’ve managed to set up a date, I get ghosted just before it.
It’s so god damn tiring. I too take care of myself, my self esteem isn’t great but I can easily hold conversations and what not.
Meanwhile everywhere I go I see couple after couple after couple. It’s crushing. One of the guys I play DnD with, who is in his late 30’s and is married, has told me he can’t imagine dating nowadays.
Neither can I dude, cause I don’t.
At times it seems the quest for love has devolved into the pursuit of completing insta-aspirational checklists that are rationalized as practicality.
Agreed and that’s why I don’t date. Plus men always expect something from me which is extremely upsetting. I haven’t kissed a man in 8-9 years. If I go out around men (not a date because I don’t date) they always have to say something about wanting to kiss me. Why TF do they think I’d be saving myself like this for so damn long just to have a random kiss with them??? I laugh it off but is disgusting to me. It’s a lack of respect for me. The next man I kiss will be “the one” and I’m waiting as long as it takes. Hook up culture will never be me. There’s just a lot of unwanted negativity that comes with trying to date. I’d rather not deal with it. Preventative measures.
I think the “no one owes anything to anyone” ethos is part of the problem. People should owe each other basic decency and kindness.
I don’t have any advice as a woman in my 50s who isn’t even into men. But I will say that if you can hold onto a sense of yourself as someone who treats others with decency and kindness, it can be a little easier to let go of those who don’t treat you the same way.
I hope you find ways to meet women outside the apps. I’m sure many of them are just as frustrated as you are by the state of things.
Yall ever think you might be happier if you just forgot about dating entirely? Don’t yall have hobbies?
It’s just exhausting. Going through the motions of getting to know someone like that tens to hundreds of times only for it to completely drop off.
live your life for yourself and stop obsessing about having a partner. you talk about losing months of your life in a talking stage, i’m sorry but that sounds ridiculous. do you have no other hobbies and things to do for yourself that you consider every interaction that isn’t going to end in a relationship a waste? learn to enjoy your own company and build up your own self esteem and confidence, spend times with your friends and family and pets, learn new things and get outside and have fun. no one wants to get into a relationship with someone who’s just sitting waiting for you be “the one”. i’m serious when i say everyone i know who is in a happy long-term relationship ended up that way just by doing their own thing and they met their partner by accident.
Haven’t been on the scene for a while thankfully but I do think dating apps and to an extent, social media have played a part in this. I think we don’t really see people as people anymore, we’ve commodized each other. There’s really no consequence to just ghosting someone if you want to pursue a different option. Hell sometimes, that person can just try to go back to the other person and say they got busy. It’s frustrating but it’s just the way it seems to be now.
I did not have too much problem dating in my 20s but 30s is rough. Everyone has kids and careers, no time to date and even when they do dating is not a priority.
Woman here in mid 20s and also tired of the constant ghosting. Even happens when I meet men organically and not through the apps, I have honestly quit putting myself out there because it gets soul crushing after a while. Because it’s either that or they only want casual and can’t give me attention for anything more than that, it’s really depressing.