(M35) and (F31), on and off for 10 years. We had our ups and downs, but we always found our way back to each other. We talked seriously about marriage, kids, and building a life together.
When it finally came time to get married, her father rejected me. In her culture, he has the final say. And that was it, we ended.
Now, just a few weeks later, she’s engaged to someone else. Probably an arranged marriage. There’s a ring on her finger and a new man beside her. That image is burned into my mind. I had to block her on everything because seeing her life move on without me was unbearable.
It hurts in a way I didn’t know was possible. Some days are okay. Other days it hits hard.
I guess I’m just wondering: how do you move on from something like this? Has anyone else gone through something similar? How did you deal with it when it felt impossible?
TL;DR:
Together for 10 years. Her father rejected our marriage because of cultural reasons. A few weeks later, she’s engaged to someone else. figuring it out how to handle it more effectively
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10 whole entire years of being together and it wasn’t mentioned once by her father that he didn’t like you or didn’t approve of the relationship? She didn’t mention once that she’d be unable to marry you due to religion? At your big ages, these conversations should’ve been had years and years ago. I feel like everyone is to blame for this. Why is she still getting herself tangled up in her father’s drama at her age? It’s not like she’s 12, 18 or even 21. She isn’t some young girl anymore. She’s a grown adult who spent a decade with someone. Her and her family need a reality check and you should’ve done your homework and sorted all of this out like yesterday. Horrible situation for all of it’s true but can’t help but feel like everyone is to blame for wasting their own time. Him and his religion doesn’t just happen overnight. You must’ve known at some point throughout the relationship things were never going to last and that’s what shocks me the most. Everything feels sudden? Especially since it’s on and off. Which means you’ve already got your issues with her consistently. I hope you all get the help you need to move on properly.
That’s a huge bummer but I also get the feeling that you might have missed some huge red flags along the way. I mean, her folks never expressed anything to her about the relationship in 10 years? This couldn’t have possibly come totally out of left field.
And the possible arranged marriage situation is much worse for her. It sucks for you right now, but You’ll move on. She’ll be stuck in that forever. It’s incredibly sad for her and always will be.
Tbh time is the only way mate :/
To recover more quickly begin journaling your current thoughts and feelings. Then, journal from the beginning of your relationship. Try to notice the problems, reason for break ups, how her father interacted with you, was she being dishonest about her father’s opinion of you? Writing out your thoughts and feelings will help you get a clearer picture of your relationship so you can avoid the negative things in the future.