The girl I’m dating (29F) and I (29M) have been seeing each other and getting to know each other better. Things are going well overall, but there’s one thing that keeps bothering me.
Whenever she mentions something she likes — music, certain movies, or even topics like serial killers or paranormal stuff — I often happen to like those things too. But many times, she reacts like she doesn’t believe me and thinks I’m just saying it to make her like me more. We really do have a lot of things in common.
I understand that sometimes people pretend to share interests when they’re dating, but that’s not what I’m doing. It actually frustrates me when she assumes I’m being fake, because I genuinely enjoy those things and would like her to believe that.
I don’t want to argue about it or sound defensive, but I also don’t want to feel like I have to constantly prove myself.
What can I do to help her see that I’m being honest and not just trying to impress her? How should I handle it without creating tension?
TL;DR: The girl I’m dating thinks I only say I like the same things as her to please her, but I actually do like them. How can I make her see I’m being genuine without sounding defensive?
Comments
I’m willing to bet you can’t convince her. Maybe she’s had others lie about it in the past, who knows. Just keep being honest and try not to worry so much about if she really believes you like Reggae or not 🙂
I’d play it off unconcerned and confident. You know the truth, and either she’ll stick around long enough to figure it out or she won’t. I might even tease her about it. “ Binged 4 episodes of (whatever show) last night just to impress you. Totally not because I love it”
Instead of trying to convince her, I think you need to be honest with her that it frustrates you when she insinuates you’d lie to try to score brownie points and would like her to stop this behavior.
Obviously it would be one thing if she was clearly joking, so I’m going to have to take your word for it that she’s being serious and so I think the best thing to do is to tell her how it makes you feel. How she responds will tell you a lot about her, and if you two are able to communicate and resolve a fairly straight-forward issue.
I’d be silly about it – “I like it more! But not more than I like you” or “we must be a match made in heaven” cheesy but light – or you could even share fond memories around the things that get brought up!