For the record I’m 24f.
it’s safe to say I was raised by the internet. I was on 4chan, tumblr, and random Internet forums since I was 10 and played mmos religiously prior to that. I believe even at a young age I had a healthy idea of what was real and what was not and I managed to temper my expectations and take precautions with dealing with internet strangers.
The redpill, incels and manosphere movement is not some new trend that came about in 2018 like a lot of people believe. They were definitely on the internet for as long as it has existed but hidden away in clunky html forums. Because I am a child of the internet with very niche interests (I’m basically lain) I had the misfortune of being in “close quarters” with people like this due to my love of pulpy 80s space fantasy books and interest in war hammer.
From a young age I was inundated with phrases like
“women hit the wall at 22”, “every barn needs a fresh coat of paint” (every woman needs makeup) and
“what’s the use of having a Bentley you can’t drive?”
(Why bother with a woman you can’t f?”
‘, “ugly women should be put down”
I knew these phrases were not true and I knew to ignore them the best I could and try to avoid those areas of the internet.But as time went on the manosphere became more popular and the misogynistic phrases being parroted got louder and instead of me only experiencing it on niche Internet forums I was seeing it everywhere, even on normie social media platforms and then in real life.
As I got older I still haven’t come to terms with aging and being less desirable, I’m not even sure I like men like that and yet every year I get older I’m like “damn I hit the wall” even though I know it’s not true. I also fell into lookism starting at 14 and have agonized over my appearance ever since then. I lowkey would rather die than be ugly and can’t come to terms with it because “past 27= old, old = ugly”. I hate being a woman but I would never want to be a man, I just hate these actual impossible standards like defying time itself to seem desirable. As for dating I have avoided it because I fear men are like the ones I see all over the internet. It would be safer if I just stayed single forever in my eyes.
Before anyone mentions therapy l’ve been in it for 4 years and not much has changed.
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> Before anyone mentions therapy l’ve been in it for 4 years and not much has changed.
Then it’s time to change your therapist
you need a new therapist wtf
Oh love… this is real ish right here.
First: after four years of therapy you should feel real change, it’s OK to find a new therapist, they’re kinda like partners, just cos you’ve had one for years doesn’t mean they bring the best out in you. A good therapist should challenge you to do things differently and support you while you try.
Nect: the Internet is where everyone spills their guts behind the safety of a screen so it’s not a real representation of all people. I have so many friends who are off social media because it’s so toxic, and instead they run women’s circles and men’s sheds, they go on retreats and classes and they support their communities. They make art and travel. There’s always been awful people, you’ve just been able to hear and see them since really young and no wonder it feels like everyone is like that. But I promise they’re not. Please find good irl people to show you this!
My suggestions are: practise something new each month so you mix with new people irl and focus on a skill, or fun, or learning something new. You’ll meet people that way, and be able to be around folk of all ages and see beauty is about who you are not what you look like, and value is in your goodness not your figure nor face.
I’m 45 and get asked out by dudes in their 20s regularly (I say no, who needs that hassle!) and I’m overweight and stressed! This high value bullshit has messed with people’s heads, it’s not what’s really going on out here. If you’re happy and thriving you’re attractive, if you’re brave enough to rock the status quo and fight for what you believe in and ignore the capitalist media led crap that’s just trying to tell you to buy something to be happier, it’ll be fun and interesting again.
Whatever you do, I hope you have fun and make some great memories. Aging is a privilege!
You’re not wrong—parts of the internet can be loud, toxic, and exhausting. But that’s not all there is. Life—and people—are complex. The corners of the Internet can’t protect you from that. It can’t fix stupid – not you, but them. You’re seeing the harshest parts, but beauty, kindness, and real connection exist too. You’re still here, growing, and that matters.
First of all not that many girls who like Warhammer so, very cool of you😎 being afraid that men are like what you see online I can relate I feel the same way about women I don’t wanna be taken advantage of or disrespected for my efforts as man still I believe the sexes shouldn’t hate each other it would be better if we could get along and not forget men and women are natural counterparts to each other we were meant to get along and coexist
You chose to return to 4chan…
It’s not a pirate ship you’re stuck on…
I told all my friends to stop exposing their brains to gore and world star…
The most brainrot polluted? Yep the ones that kept going there…
Sooooo… i disagree the internet is fine and V for vendetta didn’t become cringe, it always was 🫠
I am a man.
I dont like makeup, I find women to be most beautiful when they dont wear makeup.
Secondly, women in their 30s 40s and 50s are as beautiful or even more then any 20 year old on their best day.
The men you hung around with were nothing but bitter and lonely, lonely because of their dumb views on women.
And just to be clear here i love magic the gathering, mmos, am a gamer, a total nerd who studied cooking and music.
You should consider either changing your therapist or the way you view things, stop viewing life through the eyes of others (those dumb misogynistic men you hung out with) start looking at it with your own eyes be happy being you.
42F here. I’m going to blow your mind right now OP- I still get approached by men irl. Yes, my old ass (even though I’ve been told I’m attractive ever since I can remember) still gets hit on.
The other day a young guy (who couldn’t have been older than 22) told me word for word “I don’t know if anyone has told you this, but you’re beautiful”. I then thanked him for the compliment.
The point is, don’t listen to any man who lives online. Especially if they’re bitching and moaning about a certain demographic of women. Those dudes have never, and will never get laid. You should ask them if they’ve ever kissed a woman. I’m willing to bet not.
What years were you on 4chan
i feel you on this struggle. its so hard to break away from those ideas when they are everywhere. you are not alone in this fight