I’m a woman in my late forties married with kids and I’m terribly lonely even at home with a house with people in it. I have no friends so no social life. My marriage is stale I say this because we have 0 emotional or mental connection, 0 romance, we’re not “friends” so we don’t hang we do not do date nights we do anything together as just a couple besides just “Life” its all just surface level. And its starting to get to me its starting to make me sad and depressed I feel like Im dying inside of loneliness. Is this a real thing? Is this it? Is this what I have to deal with? Is this how life as we age ? Am I dumb for wanting more wanting friends. For wanting a connection some excitement some happiness. I feel like I have so much more life left in me. Thank you for allowing me to vent as I feel I can’t share it or say it aloud
The loneliness is really starting to get to me
r/Advice
Comments
Are you premenopausal? Yes this is real….You need to find your own hobbies and meet new people. Do you have an active neighborhood? Check for local mom groups or walking groups? Just get out…. Talk to your spouse and expressed this loneliness too. I bet he feels it too. Make time for each other.
Hey, I’m much younger than you so I do not know much of life compare to you but if you permit me I can share to you my view of things.
I personnaly think that life is worth living only if we do what we can to live happily, to me, life is all about being happy and seeking happinness in any circumstance.
In your situation, considering your family life and stuff I think the best thing to do is have a deep conversation with your husband (or not if you think this will be useless) but communication is key as always. And if you have the funds neededs you can go to therapy and talk about that to a professionnal that will give you better and more concrete advices. And if you know a little activity that give you a bit of joy, then put yourself into it, maybe this will help your current mental health and help you to think better of what to do for you in the future
One of the things men in long-term relationships tend to forget is a woman’s need to feel connected, valued, and romanced…we dudes can be very content just doing very little and receiving very little attention or encouragement. Your husband has a duty to continue “dating” you…even if he has to treat it the same way he would vehicle maintenance or home maintenance. Relationship maintenance is even more important.
Hi, thanks for sharing this. Know that you’re not alone. I would recommend finding a therapist in your area that you can talk through some of these deeper feelings with. Also, I would recommend joining some groups or clubs or things that interest you. Also, it sounds like your marriage might benefit from a “tune-up”, meaning couples therapy to see how you can reconnect. You can do this! Lastly, Check out a book called Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud.
Being alone is so much better than looking at the people around you & feeling lonely. I have left several loveless relationships. Even after I tried to connect. I pointed out all we do is eat together. It’s incredibly lonely to feel neglected & unimportant. I wasn’t going to live that way. It’s your life, so you must eventually decide. Not sure about your kids but they can sometimes be nice companions. Look at joining a club or taking up a hobby, where you can meet people with similar interests. I have few good friends but the ones I have make my life better. Try to look at your feelings as normal. Your body is talking to you because it needs change. Don’t wait for anyone else to fill that void, because it can also be taken away again. Talk to your husband. He might feel the same way. Feed your soul with things that bring you joy & share it.
Figure out what you want and chase it. Maybe all you need is a group or club and meet other like minded people (Meetup groups are everywhere) and things might be better. So you want to stay with this husband? If yes, maybe get some counselling together.
Talk to him about how you feel! If he agrees, then that’s the first step to fixing the issue. Take a trip somewhere, where only you two are around, or even just arrange a date. Listen to music together that that you both used to love. See a movie, go for a walk. Talking can ignite extinguished flames.
Don’t look elsewhere, because ya bored. Try and fix and find the love you once had if it was there.