The manipulation is CRAZY

Welcome back to a new post, last post we discussed my MIL coming over this weekend and I was having second thoughts on me saying yes that it was okay:

– She invited HERSELF and her nieces over, i wish we said more on this when it happened but it was right after my egg retrieval, I was drained but ended up getting pissed at myself later.

Everyone told me to lie and say I was sick which is a perfect go to, I am usually not keen on lying about my health but it doesn’t matter because I am actually sick this week LOL. DH had a stomach bug that I ended up getting, paired with a sinus infection. Also, I start my transfer cycle tomorrow and imagine I will not be feeling well for a while.

MIL texted me yesterday saying “Hi OP, I hope you are doing well. I was wondering what the plan was for Saturday? are we going to BBQ? what time should we come? what should we bring? are we swimming?” She hates our group chat for some reason but I texted DH on the side basically saying idk how I am going to be feeling, should I tell her I don’t feel well and we’re not sure about the visit or pretend I am okay and tell her I am not feeling well later? He said to text in the group chat to say I am not feeling well and that DH will hangout with her nieces outside of our apartment. She responded with ‘Oh no, I hope you feel better. I promised them I would show them where you live. They are so excited. We will come to you guys for a little bit and then leave”

Okay, so now I am fuming. DH said “OP hasn’t been feeling well and we don’t want to get the girls sick. I know the girls are excited but they just want to hangout, they don’t care about where we live, lets plan to do something else”

MIL response “They want to see your dog and OP. I told them so much about your building. but if you don’t want us to come to at least see your building then ok”

Now, I was leaning towards letting them see our building and not our apartment because I wouldn’t have to see her but the fact that 1. told me AFTER i said HEY i am sick, she basically says oh too bad, I am still coming??? 2. DH tries to reinforce that I am not feeling well and she coins it as “If you don’t want us to come???”

My response was that I was sad I was going to miss seeing the girls, but don’t want them to spend their last few days in the states sick and MIL said “Can we come to the building and see your dog and we will go somewhere else” I just want to be sick in peace. Again, I was SO close to saying they can come to the building but I can’t in good faith, what now feels like a reward, to say yes.

DHs response “You’re making me feel bad for OP feeling sick, which sucks, but we can’t control it.”

MIL response “It’s weird that I have to tell my brother, that his kids, who are here for a once in a life time experience that we can’t visit my sons place. They don’t have to see OP, they can just see where you live. It’s something first family does. You are making me sad, hurt and embarrassed to even tell my mom or my brother this. but ok”

Wtf is first family????? lolllll, I will give her a slight pace for a little language barrier.

We haven’t responded, we are just texting each other on the side. DH is stressed which I get, he has a stressful job and this is all happening on the clock. I feel like I can easily say that they can come to the building, I feel like I am making it worse but not giving in (DH isn’t making me feel bad, I just feel like I could take the stress away if I just said ok).

There is nothing special about our apartment… we live in a doorman building, that’s it. “Here kids and to the right you will see the doorman that makes sure my MIL does not come unannounced <3, well that's the tour"

I want to respond to my MIL, I know I am suppose to let DH handle but I am just baffled. I can’t even be sick without DH getting absolutely RIPPED. I just want to say bsffrn….