The mother (of all) loads

I’m writing this because I really don’t know what I can do to communicate any harder that I need my husband to step up and help.

For context, I am currently working my months notice at for one company. I have the most senior role there. This job is a busy full time job, one I care about and don’t want to drop the ball. In a few weeks time, I’m joining in a start-up – it’s a fantastic opportunity and as with start ups, it’s all very fast paced and I’m already looped in and being counseled for advice. I’ve done the start-up world before, I know what I’m getting into. I also volunteer, I have handed my notice in here having got the start-up role and it won’t be compatible. This is a taxing volunteer role that requires thought and using my skills in finance and people management etc. On top of these three “jobs”, I am a mother to two young children, just had foot surgery (planned) and of course, have the full responsibility organising almost everything to do with the children and our home. My husband does the food (buying and cooking), the bins, and does his fair share of tidying up.

My husband is a good man, has been supportive of my taking this new role despite the risk, and is really good at handling “in the moment” issues such as ensuring the house is tidy, meals on the table and the kids are dressed etc. I understand, compared to most, I hit the jackpot here.

But here’s the issue (and thanks so much for reading this far), I am understandably exhausted. My tether is short and I have snapped a few times. I immediately apologised and explained I have too much going on and listed everything off (my daughter’s bday is this weekend and I hadn’t organised a few things for it). His response “I understand”. Not, oh I can take this for you, just “I understand”.

Last night I had to explicitly state “I am upset because despite telling you everything on my plate you did not jump in to help or try and help”. He then proceeded to push me to tell me all the things in my head and we sorted some things out. But again, I am delegating.

I know this is the mother load, I know this isn’t going to stop. I guess I don’t really know what I’m after, maybe support, maybe success stories where others have managed to work around this. Thanks for reading.