Growing up, we hear that a woman having a successful career and a family with kids is the epitome of success. A lot of people strive to have both together as their goal. In reality, a lot of women working as well as looking after the home and kids are overworked with hardly any time for themselves. Majority of their partners will not help out much with household work and kids while expecting the woman to work full time. Even with a supportive partner, pregnancy and childbirth can never be shared. It is extremely tiring which can bring about a lot of changes some even persisting years after giving birth. Being in a marriage can involve a lot of compromises on our own Interests and goals. Life can get extremely stressful trying to balance a lot of things and there are many women who wish they could go back to how it was before their marriage.
Though a lot of women would think they only want such a life, alternative ways of living should also be considered. Thoughts should be given to whether someone really wants kids or is just having them for societal reasons or to evade feelings of loneliness. Living alone independently should at least be tried out before getting into a marriage or a cohabitation relationship though for a lot of women, not much choice is there in this matter. Sometimes, for a lot of people being single and/or living alone may make them happier than being in a relationship even with a supportive partner. There would be more free time to relax, do something focused on interests and also go forward professionally. We should be happy with ourselves and learn to enjoy spending time alone.
Comments
What strikes me about the ‘having it all’ expression is that you absolutely never hear it used to describe men who have a successful career and children. It’s just expected that they can have both.
A big part of it comes down to what you said, that men aren’t expected to participate equitably in the home (NOT ‘help’ – it isn’t helping to do stuff in the home you live in!) Yes, pregnancy and childbirth can’t be shared, but IMO that’s all the more reason why society should expect men to step up more in ways that they can. For example, that could mean taking the lead on caring for the baby the first several months. But paternity leave provisions are far too poor to allow that in most countries which hits upon another problem entirely…