This will be pretty short. Just wanted to rant about my Judge Judy obsessed wise matriarch archetype MIL. Currently living with them and as I predicted I’m counting down the days. Kinda stuck atm but her “helpful advice” (aka I’m just a stupid inbred hillbilly who doesn’t know shit about dick) is driving me out of my mind. It’s been two weeks and I’m so over it. Yes lady I know you raised two kids so obviously you know the only correct way to do anything and I obviously just need to check with you before so much as wiping my ass to make sure I do it right. This is like having a backseat driver who follows you around everywhere and the minute I put two syllables together she doesn’t like she just has to pipe up and take over the conversation and of fucking course if I don’t immediately fall over myself to thank her and follow her advice I’m just an ignorant redneck who should’ve stayed in the trailer park.
It especially drives me absolutely batshit when I’m having a one on one with the wife and she comes flying in from fucking OZ to deliver her unwanted verdict and “set me straight”.
She also has a nose like a bloodhound and if she detects three molecules of something she dislikes (the list is long) she comes flying in demanding it be triple bagged and put outside. Like god forbid she ever have to smell something she doesn’t care for.
Don’t get me started on all the rest of her pet peeves. Seriously I’m not even walking on eggshells. I’m dodging fucking lasers and shit like mission impossible while the ever present eye of Sauron glares at me waiting for me to make even the tiniest mistake so she can pounce.
/rant
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as Kooky_Beat368 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe KookyBeat368 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Sending a protective cone of silence over you that deflects her away until you can leave!!
I don’t think anyone can convey the frustration as succinctly with sarcasm and humor as you can. Sorry you’re going through this OP. But I’m sad to say, I enjoyed reading that. Hope your living situation is temporary and your new place is in the boondocks compared to mil’s house, right quick.
😂 thanks for the laugh.
Throwing the Precious into the fires of Mt. Doom for you. Hopefully, the eagles will carry you to safety soon.
Meanwhile, I hope you keep writing. I heard Trae Crowder’s voice reading your post.
At least you haven’t lost your sense of humor! 🥰