“Misandry” at this point is being used to gaslight woman and bury any discussion about the violence being perpetrated against them build on actual misoginy.
I have rarely seen this term being used correctly and it is only used when woman bring up systematic and culturally issues that affect them. Essentially gaslighting the victims to be the perpetrators of something that is perpetrated against them, alot of times adding in other cases of actual discriminated groups, without any context. Meaning, bringing up the racisms about black peoples crime statistics which have been historically racially discriminated against, enslaved and segregated into lower income neighboorhoods with no oppertunity to attain higher education or a job and somehow equating this to the same discrimination man face by bringing up the violence they perpetrate against woman.
Missing completly that in that scenario they would rather be the ones that actually tell black people that they are the ones that are racist towards white people, for bringing up the cultural racisms perpetrated against them.
Actual power dynamics, cultural context and actual history of discrimination is swept under the rug and everything is now called “prejudice generalisation” and “sexism”.
This has been an ongoing trend, man REALLY need to feel like victims. Usually ranging from family courts, divorces to life expectancy and what not.
Thing is majority of the time they are based on presumptions which have nothing to do with reality or are self caused. Man get custody when they actually ask for it, woman aren’t usually believed in family court when it comes to domestic abuse or sexual assault, bringing this up makes it actually more likely for woman to lose custody. False rape accusations are statistically so minimal that you are more likely to be accused of any other crime, or be raped by another man. Homeless woman have a higher mortality rate or are trafficked, which significantly reduces the number. They also stay away from homeless shelters or public places, where they are usually counted. Man being graded worse in school is tied to their own behaviour and IT HAS NOTHING TO DO with maturing later than girls or being more “hyperactive”, per research, its largely cultural and how it is attributed to be good at school. Meaning in western countries young boys just dont want to be seen as “nerds” and young boys are also thought to externalize negative behaviour, while young girls are thought to internalize them. Its also per multiple reasearch usually mans own choice not to attend college as they have more options. Man being judged harsher for crimes than woman, only applies to some crimes, woman are actually convicted with more severe sentences than man if they commit a crime against man.
Womans mental health isn’t taken serious either, if anything it was woman that have been lobotomyzed for being “hysterical” and majority of medications were only tested on man, aswell as multiple diagnosis(ADHD, autism) not even being recognized in woman or being missdiagnosed to an unproportinate amount. The same applies to physical health in which woman on avarage recieve their diagnoses much later than man and have been dismissed as “mental issues” or “overreacting” more often than mans.
There is no male loneliness pandemic, it is statistically equally divided between the gender, but anything which affects man is a national health crisis. Also woman actually have a harder time dating than man, but not being desired is somehow worse than being raped and assaulted. Man not being friends with other man is honestly just shit they have to solve within their own community, but i rarely see genuine discussion about this, usually it just revolves around wanting to rip woman from their rights and choices.
I could go on and on about this. Every single point that has ever been brought up as “man being victims of something”. Is them just not even being victims, or of their very own decisions or of other man which have built the very system that they uphold and support and than blame woman, or only use their issues in a pissing contest to minimize the issues of woman.
Im not saying the life of a man are all happiness and roses and that they dont struggle, but they dont struggle from another group having deemed them subhuman and subservient to them, they havent had their rights ripped due to their sex or are being discriminated against for just being man. They made their own rules for themselves and yet the biggest issue they have with their very own system, even patriachel norms they might not agree with, is woman.
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Just going to throw in there that a lot of what men are complaining about is actually due to the systems that they put in place to oppress women.
Child care as “women’s work” is great when you want to go out and have fun and leave Mom (who probably also worked a full day outside of the home) to deal with dinner and homework and baths and bedtime. But now that you’re getting divorced, suddenly it’s so unfair that judges grant custody to mothers.
Emotions are a sign of weakness when that can be your excuse not to give a woman a promotion. But when they’re YOUR emotions, your loneliness and mental health are national crises.
And so on.
Well I’m glad if the word misandry is finally out there. Ive see too many posts saying ‘why isn’t there any word for hatred of men’ WHEN THERE LITERALLY ALWAYS WAS
This isn’t a simple as asking men to be more aware of the dangers and limitations experienced by women. Because, the reason we are in danger and face limitations is because of men. It’s closer to the equivalent of asking a very rich person to give a substantial portion of their income to the poor. It is clearly the more ethical decision to make, but it makes their life worse, so they don’t do it.
I think that when we talk about these issues we need to address the elephant in the room, which is that it is unequivocally in the best interest of men for women are forced into subservient roles. Not only is it in their best interest, but it’s globally accepted as a social norm. So, what we are asking is for men to give up something that makes their life easier and more comfortable and that is socially acceptable, for the betterment of women. This is not something men are likely to do. Anytime there has been any meaningful cultural shift of this scale, it’s involved a lot of pain, sweat, blood, tears, and dragging people who are kicking and screaming the whole way.
Right now, the sitting president has been found guilty of rape, has 20+ women accusing him of sexual assault, and is a well-known friend of a sex trafficker. He won by a landslide. We are not a place in this world, or at least in the US, that is it realistic to hope for equality. It is very, very sad. It breaks my heart into a million pieces, but that is the reality we are living in right now.
Men are not going to support this movement in high numbers. They may tell you that they will, but the follow-through is often disappointing. 1 in 8 girls will be molested by the time they’re 12. 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted, and 1 in 5 will be raped. Men make up 98% of sexual offenders. The research on male reactions to sexual violence is incredibly concerning. Studies consistently show 1 in 4 to 1 in 6 men admitting to committing acts of sexual violence against women.
Most men who are not predators have friends who are. They hear their friends talk about being predatory against women, and they say nothing. They are in group chats that would make you cry. I personally have been devastated after reading a group chat in which a man who treated me very well and was outspoken to me about the importance of feminism, was friends with men who were very straightforwardly joking about raping victims of trafficking. I became physically ill after reading it, and after all this time, I still cannot connect the person who chose these men as friends with the man I thought I knew inside and out.
Even by conservative measures, most men have at least one friend who is inappropriate with women. In order for men to truly be dedicated to changing the ways in which women are preyed on, they would have to confront their friends. Which clearly, they are not doing.
I don’t know how to accept the situation were are living in, but I do know that hoping for anything radically different in my lifetime is not realistic.
Most of what I worry about is how to raise my future children. How do we raise a population of children who escape the socialization we were all pushed into? Because that’s the only solution. It isn’t the fault of boys or girls, it’s the way we are teaching them to experience the world.
“Im not saying the life of a man are all happiness and roses and that they dont struggle”
If I’m being honest this is exactly what it sounds like you’re saying. I’m curious as to which problems men face that you consider valid because obviously the ones you mentioned in your post aren’t valid.
They should realise that toxic masculinity is also misandry
You know how you sometimes click on those incel / MRA leaning subs accidentally and go “JFC wtf”? This kind of reads the same way but from the other side.
Equality feels like oppression fallacy.
The party who benefits from an unfair setup might be so used to privilege, that they get entitled enough to not see that others get disadvantaged.
They see the system as fair and equal already. The laws are- and that all what counts for them- set up in neutral way that are valid for both genders in most parts. If these law are really used in reality or not, isn’t their personal problem. The setup for equality is already there. Theoretically one could get justice. Theoretically a woman could earn as much as a man does and do everything like a man- reality is that the system of childcare, workplace dynamic and household labor will never allow her to be equal- but that isn’t a man’s personal problem because the layout would theoretically harm a man as well if he would take over childcare.
We have a shadow equality, where people in power do everything that we have setup that seems equal but still prevents that women can really live equal lives. This is done on purpose and some idiotic man really believe that we are equal and a lot of abusers try to undermine the conversation with emotional blackmail, negging, whining, false academic debates, indoctrination, ignorance and of course the final solution- violence.
It is senseless to try to change their minds. Your audience of your message should be woman. A man will never agree with you. Change takes time. Especially social change. Start with the people who are willing to listen and feel the pain as well- woman.
I’ve literally been called a misandrist for saying its ok for women to clown men a little bit after centuries of oppression. Such snowflakes.
Love this post, you didn’t lie once.
I’m almost scared to comment on this in other subs. I made a comment that sexual assaults were way more often perpetrated by men, and received a three day Reddit ban for hate speech.
They have been used to women tolerating the bullshit they’ve dealt with in the past in silence, but now that they’re/women have become increasingly intolerant and vocal about inequality, harassment, abuse etc men can’t seem to handle it without becoming defensive.