It’s funny, I always feel hesitant to discuss this talking point because I know men will instantly jump down my throat for calling attention to something so subtly ingrained in society… I would just be told to touch grass lol.
But this sub is one of the few where I truly feel comfortable talking about things like this.
I’m continuously mindblown by the way men as a whole just treat the outside world as their oyster. They comfortably put their needs first and don’t really stop to assess how it affects the public around them, especially women.
I spend more time walking places than driving, and I’m always encountering men blocking the pathway on the sidewalk, standing places loudly screaming on their phones, spitting on any random surface and making a big loud show as they hock the snot into their throat… At a local shopping center there’s always this group of 6-10 guys taking over this bench, boozing it up and yelling instead of talking, absolutely blasting music from who knows what device, and filling the air with cigarette smoke. Whenever I see groups of people kicking it and chatting in parking lots, it’s always all men (I don’t consider this bothersome really but just interesting that I never see women just group together like this).
I’m not saying all f this behavior is harmful at all– a lot of it is just obnoxious at worst. I certainly see women grouped together at night or at bars, or having lunch during the day. But they don’t consistently take over random public spaces or make a racket in the way that men do so so often.
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We’re often conditioned to ignore how men are socialized to treat public space as theirs by default. What’s framed as “just being comfortable” or “just hanging out” is often, in reality, an assertion of dominance.
it’s not just about being loud or physically expansive. it’s about the way male entitlement to space, time, and attention is constantly reinforced through small, seemingly mundane behaviors.
Think about how often women are taught to move out of the way, to be quiet, to not “make a scene,” to not take up too much room. It’s why so many of us instinctively shrink ourselves on public transport or apologize for standing still in a grocery aisle. Meanwhile, men sprawl across seats, stand in the middle of walkways without awareness, shout into phones in public, or form loud groups that take over an area entirely without a second thought.
These aren’t isolated incidents. They’re part of a gendered socialization process. Men are taught that their presence is neutral, even welcome, while women are taught that our presence is disruptive unless we’re accommodating or decorative. And when women push back or name this dynamic, we’re told we’re overreacting or “looking for things to be mad about”—as if noticing the daily ways we’re pushed to the margins is some kind of personal flaw.
What’s especially frustrating is that these behaviors are so normalized that calling them out feels taboo. Saying “I feel uncomfortable around groups of men yelling and drinking in public” gets you accused of being paranoid, even though it’s a statistically reasonable response to feel wary. Or even just observing these patterns is treated as nitpicky or misandrist.
It’s not about individual men being “bad,” it’s about a system that constantly centers their comfort at the expense of everyone else’s. And it shows up everywhere: in how they dominate conversations, walk down the middle of the street without moving aside, blast music without concern for who’s around, or even how they leave public messes like spit or trash as if someone else will clean up after them. Because someone usually does. And that someone is rarely another man.
This isn’t just a pet peeve. It’s part of the wider issue of male entitlement and the assumption that public space belongs to them. And the emotional labor women take on to avoid, accommodate, or ignore it is real.
I used to think that it was something they didn’t really notice… but they sure do when it’s another man’s space they might be invading. Watch how conscious men are with other men’s spaces next time.
I’ve started refusing to yield my space. Like you, OP, I’m a walker. I walk everywhere. And I just keep walking on my side of the sidewalk; there’s enough room for us both if some douche doesn’t think he has the right to 75% of the space. I did completely shoulder check some guy recently – he saw me and literally ignored me. So I ignored him. And I have a more center of gravity, so I won. It was very cathartic.