idk if this is a normal thing but my bf and i had an argument about something and i told him everything i’ve been wanting to tell him and he apologized and said the same things won’t happen again and i asked for his thoughts and what he thinks but he didn’t really say anything else much and said he doesn’t need to or want to
he told me with his ex he completely shut her down when she told him her problems and told me that since he didn’t do the same with me it means he want to keep our relationship strong.
tbh i care about him but our values really don’t align and idk it just bothers me a lot.
now we have another issue which i posted in another subreddit and pasted here below. btw everything below was like two weeks after our argument:
AITAH for wanting to end our relationship because he isn’t being direct about being too busy to talk?
i used to be very bad at letting people know that i won’t be on my phone sometimes and i would also do this with my bf as well. to be honest i wasn’t doing very well, but i understand that this was my fault. btw this was mostly last year, and as far as i know i haven’t been doing this with him for around a year. my bf and i have been together for 5 years. my bf had told me how much this hurt him, and i improved since then.
we mostly talk every day, some days for hours at a time.
this summer, my bf just graduated from his program and he didn’t respond to my texts for two days. this was at the very start of last month. since this was unusual, after two days went by, i texted him and told him i’m worried about him. he texted me, letting me know that he was busy doing some miscellaneous things. the next few days we only minimally texted. about a week after the initial message i sent that said i was worried about him, he let me know he got a job and therefore wasn’t texting me because he had been busy with that. he gave me a long explanation which is completely appreciated, and i congratulated him. now it’s been like three weeks, and we haven’t really had a proper conversation since then. some days he just doesn’t respond, some days we talk for maybe 20 mins. but mostly it’s minimal.
now i completely understand that he’s busy, so obviously i didn’t want to stress him out by nagging him. he just graduated and this is his first real job. and he’s told me he’s stressed. however, i did say kind of as a joke that if he’s busy he can tell me, and he said no, and that he’s not busy.
at this point it’s been a complete month (literally) since all of this has been happening. i know i used to do this, and i corrected myself. i don’t know if it’s fair for me to feel this way since i used to do it with him, but i genuinely did improve myself. and i understand if he’s busy, he can just let me know! it’s completely fine. during the past month there were like 5 days we completely didn’t talk and like 5 where we just messaged each other like one message. he never told me that he’s going to be busy so he won’t be available as much.
there were some other things but this is kind of the last straw for me tbh idk.
also the important point is we’re not really bf and gf in the traditional sense i guess we can call ourselves friends but yeah idk if we should be friends either because i don’t think the labels really matter in this case
tl;dr bf and i had some problems and he just told me he’d solve them and then two weeks later we have new, unrelated issues in our relationship.