I’m (19F) in uni atm, it costs 22k. I’m not the smartest nor the most motivated and I can feel myself dragging behind a little. I know that I have to do all my work and assignments regardless because I really don’t want to be in dept. I need this job, I need to move out but the housing crisis is insane. I’ve applied for, and no shit, more than 50 jobs in the past few months. Online, handing in my resume, going around everywhere. I even payed for my RSA so it would be easier, but I’m yet to be hired… fuck, they won’t even send me an email telling me they don’t want me. Just ghost.
I don’t want to live like this, I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck. I’m under so much pressure to get my shit together, and it feels like I’m not moving at all, I don’t want to work but obviously I have to, I don’t want to study but what other option do I have, I don’t want to rely on others, I don’t want a rich husband or sugar daddy. I just want to live. I want to explore and be happy, I want to do things on my terms.
And everyone in my life expects so much from me yet I’m not allowed to expect things in return. Honestly the way the world works makes me so unmotivated, and to think I’ll have to do this for the rest of my life. I know you do too, but fuck. How can anyone live like this? What if I fail my course, and I’m in dept forever? I don’t have a dream job, I don’t have many interests, I like art and film making but I’d never make it in that category. I feel stuck
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You’d be shocked at just how many people are in the same situation: the outlook can seem pretty bleak at times. I got in at the tail end, just before everything became a tire fire, managed to get a couple of rungs up the ladder in a job I didn’t like, and that experience carried me through, just. I work with quite a few folk your age, and I look around at their options, and I think ‘fuck, that’s a mess’. I don’t know what the answer is, frankly – the old rules no longer apply. A good education is no guarantee of a job, the cost of everything is mind-blowing compared to earnings, and then there’s property, pensions and inflation. I can’t promise you things will get better – they might. I wish I’d got myself a trade instead of ending up in office jobs (though a couple of them have been incredibly well paid) – people always need those. But I digress: the grind can be dispiriting, soul-sapping and miserable. If you can afford a plane ticket, finish up college and get out – go somewhere else where the pressures aren’t so debilitating, see the world, meet people, find opportunities. That’s about all I have. I wish you the best of luck.
Yep, the system is awful and if you’re paying attention it doesn’t seem like it’s getting better… I won’t say ‘try not to think about it’, but try to focus on what is good, what you do like, and do more of it. You’re young and I promise if you struggle through these next few years, it will get manageable (set your expectations, manageable is a noble goal).
Judging by getting your RSA, you’re in Australia? Are you getting youth allowance?
I would recommend contacting home care companies in the aged care and disability sector, while care work requires a certificate now, some companies will take you on to do cleaning and social support roles, it’s easy, rewarding, and the hours will be flexible.
You can cut your degree down to 3 units instead of 4 while maintaining your full time student status, if the pressure is getting to you.
Life comes at you hard, but don’t let it make you hard, let it make you strong. I wish you all the luck.