We had been talking for 2 months.She looked like she was really into me especially early on as we went on a lot of dates that SHE would plan and it was going pretty good.I felt it was going too fast but I didn’t mind it as I followed her pace.
The problems started when she was telling me that a guy friend was being flirty with her and I told her that many of them are like that(this may sound controlling to you but I made it clear since day 1 that I DID have a problem with guy friends because of a previous bad experience that I’m not willing to risk going through again and she said okay at the time so i didnt figure it wuld be a problem for her). After I told her that this time around she stonewalled me for a day which irritated the fuck out of me.i told her to stop doing that and be upfront with me when something is bothering her.
I got her a gift very early on and I admit I was complimenting her quite a bit but she iniated physical intimacy first and was very touchy so I didnt know she would mind it as she came on very strong in the beginning.Apparently she told me one of her parents saw the gift and sat her down and told her about our religion differences and talked to her about marital problems and raising kids(idk if that was the truth tho).Were 22 btw.
She wanted to slow things down because she was overwhelmed and wanted to have a talk about it irl.I was shocked by how pissed she was as she spoke in a very angry tone. She told me that she was upset with the flirting and I told her it’s kinda ironic that she is bothered by something so trivial while she was the one being touchy in the first place and she replied that I had no balls which is why she initiated it and it didnt mean anything to her.
She also told me she didn’t like the gift because it “didn’t come from me”(I literally just asked a mutual friend what she liked).
She also said I “icked the fuck out of her” and “who the fuck do you think you are” because I didn’t want her to walk home 20 mins in a fucked up area. And if all of this was not enough she told me that we have to solve the religion issue early and I told her numerous times that I wont convert and I dont want her too and she seemed fine with it until she apparently was not.
After the argument was over,all of the shit she said enraged me and I told her she’s the problem if shes had that many failed relationships in the past,pushed a chair and stormed out the room. I apologised the next day and she told me she was over it(She lied and wasn’t actually over it).She still showed interest irl but day by day she was fading on text for 10 days.I asked her repeatedly to communicate with me if something was bothering her she would say I’m overthinking and stonewalled me for 2 days after that. I asked her one last time in a serious tone and she told me what I said and did bothered her so much.I told it wasn’t what I meant and that I’m sorry so she replied that I’m just manipulating her and she won’t be the same anymore and that my apologies don’t meant shit.she told me she wanted to take her time to think about this.
By that point,I was so irritated by her that I blocked on impulse and she was so hurt by that.i felt bad about it and tried reconnecting but it was over for her at that point.
Was I the asshole here?ik I could’ve handled things better but all the mixed signals she gave me just made me act out.
TL;Dr