I know this probably makes me sound heartless but I can’t keep it in anymore. I lost my dad a few years back, and when he passed I found out a lot of things that my mother had told me wasn’t true. And it was just little white lies, but it was big things she was lying about. And now I have been pushing her away and keeping her at arms length. I have gone to therapy for this and I just can’t get past this. I can’t even look at her without thinking about the lies she told. And what makes this worse is I have talk to my grandma (her mom) about this, and the stories that she told that my mom has spun too make my dad sounds so much worse than he was. It kills me that my grandma knew and didn’t tell me.
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I lost the wrong parent too 10/30/20. My adoring mother. A lady my father knew before he ever married my mother called (with his enabling) and created a false situation leading to emergency response (my father was not in the VA about to die in an induced coma!
Keep strong.
damn girl, I feel that heavy, u ain’t heartless, u just hurt. it’s wild when the ppl who supposed to protect u end up bein the ones who lied the most. fr, the grief ain’t just about losin someone, it’s also realizin who really was in ur corner.
I feel this so deep. My story is a bit different, but finding out the parent you’re left with is not the person you thought they were is heartbreaking. Mine is my grandmother. The woman who was more parent to me than my own is not who I thought she was. I just can’t look at her the same, and it eats me alive. People my age don’t have their grandparents. I do, and no amount of therapy helps me see past of those little moral failings I now see.
Edit to add: she was my only parent. Mine were trash and only stuck around as long as they were married. After that, they each found new family’s
So sorry for your loss and it doesn’t seem to me from what you wrote that you’re heartless.
Anger is a part of loss, it’s okay to be angry. Lying gets some people irate and to others it makes no difference. I despise lies, and I can empathize with you feeling this way.