So I just found out that a video of me and my guy friend just went around to everyone we know and I have no idea what to do… it happened at a party in a bathroom and someone saw through a window and filmed it and sent it to almost everyone in our school.
I haven’t been able to think about anything since I found out and I just have no idea how to go on after this, I feel embarrassed and humiliated and so does he. We have only spoken about the video and nothing else since it happened and I know he is also going through a tough time but I feel like he is making me deal with it way more, for example, asking me to text people asking them to delete it when I don’t know them but he does.
I think it was a friend of his and a friend of his ex who filmed it. I texted the girl and she said she has deleted it and that she didn’t share it but I don’t really believe it.
I have thought about suing but he asked me to not mention him if I do and that I would have to do it by my self and I truly don’t think I can handle that.
I’m sorry if this is messy, English is not my first language and I am not in a very clear head space but any advice would help honestly… this is such a mess and everyone that went to our school either knows about it or has seen it and someone even sent it to my brother.
I am 18 btw so this is not child pornography
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Yeah, if you’re in the US (not sure about other countries) you need to talk to the police. If your parents are safe people to discuss this with, go there first, and then you go as a family to the cops.
You need to ask on r/legaladvice for your nation. In the middle east you could be jailed for having sex
Don’t have casual sex in today’s dystopian society
Lesson here, don’t have sex where others might see it. Unless that’s what you want.
In western nations, this is a matter for the police, likely falling under the same laws as revenge porn. You cannot share sexual images/videos of people without their consent. If you are under 18, it also adds in child pornography charges to whoever made / distributed the video.
Go to the police.
The first question to ask, were you aware you were being recorded?
Second question, if you were aware, who had access to it?
In a lot of places doing this sort of thing is illegal. I would report it to the police. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
Call the Police, get legal action going. If you’re a youth, go to your schools social worker if you have one.
How old are you? What country are you in?
This is really terrible.. i’m so sorry. Honey, go to the police . i hope they will help you
Are you under 18?
I am sorry this happened to you. Go to the police and have your parents hire the best lawyer they can afford. The damage is done. You cannot undo the video getting out there for everyone in your community (or even the whole world) to see. What you can do is destroy the lives of the fuckers who did this to you. If I were in your shoes, I would be getting them expelled from school, pushing for criminal charges, and suing for damages.
I agree about going to the police. Do you have any specific evidence?
Police. You say you’re in school. Assuming you’re underage. I’d give the people that taped it a single chance to reach out to anyone they sent it to and delete it. And if you hear another peep about someone seeing it then you go to the cops for them possessing child pornography as well and the person filming it being charged.
I say don’t call the cops first because let’s be honest. There’s no reason to legitimately ruin a kid or twos lives over something stupid like that. It’s dumb shit kids do. A chomdnporn charge on the record ruins the rest of their life. Forever. Work. Housing loans. Etc. so start with threats of police. Then if it doesn’t work. Police.
I’m really sorry this is happening to you. What you’re feeling is a normal response to having your privacy violated and you don’t have to handle it solo.
First treat this the same way you would treat any other serious harm. Loop in a trustworthy adult who has the power to act on your behalf. If you can, tell a parent/older relative/teacher/counsellor you trust. They can help you gather evidence and talk to the school and push the authorities if needed. Trying to “stay quiet” often lets other people control the story.
Preserve proof while you still can. Take screenshots that show who sent or posted the clip, timestamps, usernames and any comments that confirm it’s circulating without your consent. Email those files to yourself so they’re date stamped and stored off your phone.
Report the video everywhere it appears. Most social media platforms have a “non consensual intimate imagery” or “revenge porn” category that triggers rapid removal. If you don’t feel up to filling out forms, ask a trusted friend or family member to submit the links for you. The victim usually doesn’t have to be the one who files.
Even if your country’s legal system is slow, filing a police report (or the closest local equivalent) creates a paper trail. Many countries treat secretly filming people who are undressed or engaged in sex as a crime, especially if minors are involved. You are not responsible for protecting the people who filmed or shared it. If your friend insists on staying out of it then that’s his choice. It shouldn’t stop you from defending yourself.
At school speak to an administrator or counsellor and phrase it plainly: “A sexual video of me was shared without my consent. I need help making it stop” Schools have a duty to prevent harassment and can discipline students who pass the clip around.
Emotionally please give yourself space to be upset. What happened was a violation, not a mistake you “brought on yourself”. If flashbacks or anxiety are making it hard to sleep or concentrate or eat, consider talking with a mental health professional or a crisis helpline. Writing down what happened (just for yourself) can also help you feel more in control of the narrative.
And remember that the gossip cycle always feels endless while you’re in it, but it does fade. The people re sharing that video are showing more about their own character than about yours, and their attention will move on far sooner than it feels right now. Focus on the concrete steps I’ve mentioned, lean on people who care about you and keep reminding yourself that you’re the one who was wronged here and not the one who should feel ashamed.
The consequence of these people’s actions is you going to the police. It’s just the natural consequence that has to happen. What did they think? They would do that and get away with it ??? Idk how old you are but that could easily get them charged with something like child “cornograpghy”, harassment, child endangerment etc. the list goes on. I wouldn’t sit there watching my life go up in flames. If mine is going up in flames, so is yours honey. Fight back with all you got. I’m sorry this happened to you but do everything in your power to have karma bite them in the ass.
While going to the police is certainly one option, beware of the Streisand effect. Your attempts to quash it may backfire. Unless it was good p0rn, people are going to forget it and move on. Still, I’d love to see some karma hit those that filmed it. So perhaps go to the authorities to get this person, but keep quiet about it otherwise.
Arrest the whole school.
wtf, why would you even do that?
To correctly answer your , I would have to start my by examining the video! Trust I won’t share!!!
That’s totally illegal without consent that means jail time
I made a stupid comment without reading your post, so sorry for that, I deleted it.
The person who distributed this is really the weakest lowest form of human garbage I can think of. Why do people automatically do things to hurt others? For what?
Police is an option, maybe not the best, but still an option. The best thing you can do is rise up, don’t be ashamed, the only thing that I can judge from you is that you’re human, we all make mistakes or even not, only difference is your situation is now public. So no reason to hide from it, after all for you it was a private moment, and your privacy was violated. I’m curious what the guy you were with is thinking? IF YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH, THOSE WHO CAST ILL WILL TOWARDS YOU WILL BECOME VERY SMALL AND OTHERS WILL GAIN RESPECT FOR YOU. Those who make fun, tease or talk behind your back have bigger problems than you, for real.
PARENTS– you know better then anyone, but might be wise to fill them in. I can’t say cause I don’t know them, but you do. You’ll figure out the best path.
Remember– THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
Good luck.
This is an ignore situation to me. I’m probably quite a bit older than you. I took nude photos as a teen and someone stole and showed people. If you let it be they will let it go in time. All the dummies watch porno now anyways. So it may still be out there but no one will be looking after a while. You just say “yeah that happened- SO WHAT?” 👍
Sorry this has happened to you.
Police if you have the courage to go there. 18 & going to the police can be a scary 1st step. You should have the man go with you. It’s better if you both complain together.
If you’re a minor (under 18) in the US, you need to report whoever is distributing it for child pornography and never let yourself be in this position again
You should prosecute the person who filmed it
Actually, if it was released without your consent, that’s a crime.
If u are underage that is a felony in the us
Police