Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 years and she’s away at college.recently she told me that her friend and her boyfriend all went out drinking and they ended up going back to the dorm and sleeping in the same bed. Apparently their was a second bed in the dorm and my gf decided not to sleep their but with the couple instead, of course my mind thinks that they all had sex but she swears they just went to bed. she said she doesn’t know why she didn’t sleep in the other bed. Of course their is a possibility nothing happened but I want to believe her. So my question to all the girls who have gone to college is have you ever just passed out in the same bed with your friend and their boyfriend or am I giving her too much credit. Thanks
They ended up in the same bed
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i don’t know your girlfriend so i’m going to assume you have dated her for 3 years because she has good character and wouldn’t cheat, and if she did, i don’t think she would have told you about it at all, i think you should just have a talk with her about it if u haven’t already, it’s just weird that she didn’t sleep in the empty bed, maybe dive into why that is
The were just experimenting
Mate you know what happened
It’s natural to feel uneasy. Talk her openly about how it made you feel and set clear boundaries together
They fucked and she thinks you’re too naive and stupid to see the truth.
You should invite the couple over. If there’s any sexual tension in the air you’ll def sense it.
Myself and my girlfriend have shared beds with male and female friends on multiple occasions in a pinch and normally at the end of a long night of partying/festivals. Obviously I can’t speak to your situation but I can guarantee in mine there is nothing in the slightest sexual about it. Three years is a long time, there’s nothing wrong with feeling how you feel but it may be worth considering that if you’re feeling this way either:
Personally neither of these sound good to me.
This seems to come down to a difference in what is viewed as acceptable in your own views of manogamy, if you chose to stay you both need to have a mutual conversation and talk about what you consider acceptable behavior in your relationship and it HAS to be identical for both of you
Even if they didn’t do anything, it’s still a very clear boundary crossed.
If she wants to preserve your relationship, it’s not unreasonable that she would need to take some space from those friends and prioritize building your trust back.
How she responds here / what she volunteers to do to earn your trust back tells you if it’s worth staying or not.
I get wanting to trust her, but yeah that’s a weird choice on her part
A lot of people are suspicious and assume the worst and I might be wrong, but I think they’re mostly dudes.
I’m a woman with a history before marriage and kids. Went to some wild parties and slept with others… as in, in a bed sleeping. Nothing else happened. Sometimes people just need sleep, guessing they’d all had a few it’s easy to envisage them all crashing together in one bed. I don’t necessarily think something is going on when I hear this.
Shit like that happens. I think she was honest with you, if anything sexual happened, I doubt you’d get that story
I think it’s pretty normal to all end up sleeping in the same bed at that age, without anything sexual happening. I used to “crash” with platonic friends all the time and it was never anything inappropriate.
If you feel this is inappropriate behaviour for your girlfriend you should set the boundary that from here on out you don’t want that to happen again, but I think it’s weird to automatically assume something untoward happened.
Its amazing how many responses there are from people who are clearly insecure. Unless your gf has given you reason to not not trust her in the past, you need to trust what she says.
There have been many times that I slept in someone’s bed when we were drunk without anything happening. It seems to me that if they were drunk you should be happy that they made the decision not to try to go anywhere else and just sleep it off. Maybe she realized afterward (since they were drunk at the time), that they slept in the same bed. I know Ive definitely had some instances in the past where I was so drunk that I wasnt worried about where I was sleeping or fluffing pillows beforehand. All I cared about was laying down bc I wanted my head to stop spinning.
I don’t know what she did but if I was her and I cheated on you, I prob won’t tell you we all slept on the same bed
OP. I have been down this road and had the same denial stages and years on I know my partner did mess around. I even found a used pregnancy test kit and the horror on her face was real. There were even excuses for that.
Problem is I know this has happened on at least 3 occasions.
I am still with my partner and I have lost years of my life trying to accept it but in truth the pain remains.
My advice is don’t be me.
You need to have a serious conversation with her about this as it is unacceptable. She chose to sleep in there bed when another was available.
For you this is tricky because I too fear they likely had a threesome or fondle. It is a no brainier to use the spare room/bed. Girls will protect girls but come on we know how us lads think sexually 💭
Good luck with the away at college thing. It won’t last anyways. She’s upgrading.
Three people…fitting in a college dorm bed??
Were they stacked on top of each other?
I slept in the same bed as my best friend and her man a handful of times. Nothing sexual ever happened.
Yes, I have slept in mixed sex situations where nothing happened. I was never a heavy drinker, though.
How did all 3 of them fit in one of those tiny college dorm beds??
If they did the deed, she would have never told you anything about piling up in one bed.
I never went to an american college but aren’t dorm beds, like, small? Like one person bed small? How can you fit three people in there? Without stacking, I mean
Yes, I slept in the bed with many friends of the same and opposite gender. If they wanted to have sex they could have sex without sleeping in the same bed.
Google “trickletruthing”.
Who would sleep in a bed with two other people if they weren’t cheating? How is that at all comfortable?
It would be wild for her to tell that they slept on the same bed if they had sex, but you can of course still feel uncomfortable that she ended up getting so drunk as to sleeping in the same bed. If you are uncomfortable with her drinking you should talk to her about it.
She cheated and is trickle truthing you
Natural to feel the way you do, I would if my partner did this and I would be angry however it also could be innocent. I’ll put my hand up as I’ve definitely slept in the same bed as couples before (while single) with another bed available after drinking with absolutely nothing happening. If the vibes there and you pass out in the same bed – it can happen innocently.
She wouldn’t of admitted to sharing a bed if they had fucked , not the best decision and tell her but wouldn’t overthink it
I’ve slept in the same bed with my friends and their partners on multiple occasions. There was never a threesome. You’re good.
It’s fair to feel weird about it, especially when there was another bed, talk to her and set clear boundaries.
It would be very weird to choose to sleep in a bed with two other people when there’s another bed in the room…