I (25f) started writing with a guy (27m) who I really connected with. We connected because we wanted to hookup basically, but decided we wanted to meet for a date with no pressure of anything first. We talked for over two weeks constantly before said date. We talked about lots of things, but mainly seemed to have a great sexual connection. We both seemed to want the same things sexually, and it felt like everything went really well. We went on our date, which lasted for like five hours of us just talking and having a really amazing time. At the end of the date we were both saying how we wanted to definitely meet again, and we kept chatting constantly literally as soon after saying bye. Kept talking about everything from deep stuff to sex, and I thought we were both really excited about getting to sleep together. At the end of the week of our date he was going on a long weekend trip with his friends so we were planning on meeting up sometime after that. Kept chatting the first day he went away but I wanted to obviously make sure he felt no pressure to keep chatting when he was supposed to hang with friends so I wished him a really good weekend on the second day.
Radio silence ever since. I figured he’d text me back once he came back, and that he maybe needed some time to land once he was back home but that he’d write to me once he felt ready and had the time. On Friday it’s been two weeks and I don’t know if I should just take the silence as a sign or if I should send him a text. Haven’t really gotten any advice on it except for one friend who basically said fuck him lol, so want some impartial opinions I guess. I’m relatively new to the dating world too so I’m overthinking everything haha.
I kinda wanna message him just to get some answer, but wouldn’t want to be pushy if he just don’t wanna keep talking. But I’m just confused since we had such a great date and really good connection.
So to sum up, do I just drop it and move on, or should I send him a message?
Thankful for any kind advice <3
think I was ghosted after a great date
r/Advice
Comments
Login here to leave a comment
Drop it and move on. Being ghosted sucks happens to the best of us. But you make it so much worse when you’re trying to fight for something that isn’t there. Cut you’re loses and try again with someone else
It sucks, but his silence is probably your answer. If you want closure, it’s okay to send one light message just to know you tried. But if he doesn’t reply, let it go. You deserve someone who’s excited to talk to you, not someone you have to chase.
“We talked for over two weeks constantly before said date.”
When you say you “talked,” are you referring to texting or a telephone conversations?
If so, then it is not at all surprising to me that he has not re-contacted you.
A few weeks ago, I wrote an article here about why excessive electronic communication can derail a relationship. Here’s the link, I think it might give you some insights. Please let me know, thanks.
https://www.reddit.com/r/analyzeme/comments/1l4yo17/why_premature_texting_might_derail_newly_formed/
Better an oops than a what if. Send the text, clear the air.
Why not send something simple like,
“Hey, I’m touching base because I had fun on our date and wanted to see if you’re still interested in getting together again now that you’re back in town.”
Who knows how the vacation went and how smoothly he transitioned to being back home? He could be juggling responsibilities or having a post-vacation slump.
Maybe he’s wondering if he’s left it too long and if it would be weird to message you.
Or maybe not. 🤷🏻♀️
if someone can ghost you after a great time, imagine what they’d do after a bad one. u didn’t lose something special you dodged someone flaky.
I get this happen to me all the time. People these day’s don’t know how to communicate, especially if they change their mind on things.
You have give him plenty of time, and doesn’t deserve anymore of it! If someone stops talking me, I give them a week or two and delete their number. Sometimes they reach out weeks, or months later, but I make it clear that I’m no longer interested because of their lack of communication skills
Just drop a text and see what he says. You deserve an explanation. If he does not entertain you, You must move on.
What do you stand to lose by messaging him? This guy is functionally a stranger. There’s two options if you do: he messages back and you hook up again, or he doesn’t message you back. If you never message him then you only get the second option.
Sure it might be awkward looking like a person who can’t take the hint, but if you are literally never going to see him again anyway, who cares? It’s not like you guys take algebra together, you’re adults who can stand to take a little rejection.
Sorry to hear, but he lost interest why bother to put yourself through more hurt and ask why? Close that chapter and move on If he was truly interested then he would contact you.
My guess is he just wanted to hook up and since you didn’t after your date it’s too bothersome for him. Or he’s just talking to someone else now.
Totally fair enough and I’d totally respect that. He was the one who wanted to make it clear that there were no expectations for the date tho, that we could just talk and get to know each other and then go from there. I don’t know it’s just confusing you know. I felt like he was expressing equally as much, if not more, interest