We all know someone with terrible table manners. You have the chew-with-mouth-open guy, the soup slurper, and the person who talks with a mouthful of bread. But the serial burper is a special kind of gross. It is one thing to let one slip at a frat house, but it is entirely another to act like a human whoopee cushion at the dinner table. One dad on Reddit has been fighting a losing battle against his son’s gas for years, and he finally got the vindication he deserves.
The dad explains that his son has a serious problem. He burps constantly while eating. The dad has tried everything. He tells him it is rude. He tells him to slow down. He tells him it is disgusting. But every single time he tries to parent, his wife jumps in to defend their precious boy. She claims “that’s just the way he is” and “it’s not his fault.”
Except, it totally is his fault. The dad points out that the son can control it when he is reminded. He just chooses not to because, well, why would he? His mom has given him a free pass to be gross at the dinner table his whole life. It is a classic case of enabling bad behavior until it hits the real world, and oh boy, did it hit the real world hard.
The son went on a big date with his girlfriend. And this wasn’t just a trip to a fast-food joint. It was a fancy restaurant to meet her parents for the first time. This is the Super Bowl of dating. You wear a tie, you say please and thank you, and you absolutely do not belch your way through the appetizers.
But habits are hard to break. The son, comfortable in his “that’s just how I am” bubble, proceeded to burp “all the way through supper.” I am cringing so hard my soul is leaving my body. Can you imagine being the girlfriend? Sitting there with your parents while your boyfriend audibly digests his meal like a cartoon character?
The girlfriend, evidently, was not charmed. She didn’t giggle. She “tore him a new ahole.” She chewed him out for behaving like a “jackazz” in front of her family. The son came home almost in tears, shocked that his home behavior wasn’t acceptable in polite society.
This is where the dad becomes the main character. He heard the story and he just laughed. He didn’t comfort him. He didn’t offer a tissue. He laughed the laugh of a man who has been predicting this exact car crash for years. When his wife asked what was so funny, he laid it out perfectly. He tried hundreds of times to teach him manners. She blocked him. Now, the world taught him the hard way.
Predictably, the mom and son think the girlfriend “overreacted” and that the dad is the ahole for being amused. They are still living in delusion land. The girlfriend didn’t overreact. She reacted exactly how a person reacts when their date humiliates them in public.
Let’s be real here. The dad is N-T-A. He is not the ahole. He tried to be the parent. He tried to prepare his son for adult life. His wife undermined him, and his son got lazy. Sometimes, the best teacher is humiliation. Maybe next time he is at a nice dinner, he will remember the night his girlfriend screamed at him and, miraculously, find the strength to hold it in.
When I started reading this, I was under the impression the narrator was speaking of a young child. That is until the mention of meeting the girlfriend’s parents. Unless a gastrointestinal issue is causing the burping, there is no reasonable excuse to expel excess air at the dinner table. The girlfriend reacted as expected. I really want to know how old the offender is. The son had to find out the hard way. Narrator is NTA.
How disgusting. What is wrong with the mom ???
What a disgusting young man I hope the girlfriend doesn’t stick around,this is a life long habit for him and not likely tochange.