This happened about 15–20 years ago, but I still think about it every time I pass by that place.

I was around 18 at the time, living in an apartment with a friend. We were both unemployed and completely broke.

One evening, we were just hanging out, playing PlayStation and having a few beers. After a while, another mutual friend dropped by because he wanted to join us. Hours went by and, as you can imagine, we got pretty drunk.

At some point, my friend comes up to me and says he’s hungry. Then he hits me with the brilliant idea: one of us should break into our mutual friend’s house—yes, the guy who’s literally hanging out with us at the moment—in hopes of finding food, alcohol, or whatever else we could get our hands on. Important detail: he lived with his dad, who worked from home for long periods, just 100–150 meters from our place.

So yeah, that happened. I took on the “mission” while my friend kept our mutual buddy distracted. Can’t remember what excuse we gave, if any.

Out I go, into the rain, drunk as hell. No plan, nothing—just an IKEA bag and my eyes locked on the house.
Since the front door faced the street, I decided to check the back. I climbed the slippery steps to the deck and checked the patio door.

Bingo—unlocked!

The first thing I see is the liquor cabinet. I start filling the bag with bottle after bottle. But I quickly realize all that glass in one bag is making a lot of noise. I needed a fix.
Towel! I ran to the bathroom, found a towel, and wrapped the bottles up, kind of overlapping them so they wouldn’t clink. Problem solved.

Next stop: the kitchen. I open the fridge and holy shit—there’s so much food. I remember there were ribs—probably made that day or the day before—and when you’re wasted, that’s just perfect. There were also some cold beers, and, for some reason, I remember finding frozen peas… Apparently I like those?

I loaded up everything I could carry, but started feeling stressed, so I decided to head back home.

Since our “mutual friend” was still in the apartment, I stashed everything in the basement storage. He left pretty quickly after I got back. I’m guessing it was already pretty late by then.
And not even a few minutes later, he starts calling us both like crazy. Texting that there had been a break-in and all that.

We decided not to answer and later claimed we were too focused on our game and didn’t hear or notice anything.

Then we had ourselves an amazing night/morning. Ribs, quality booze, cold beers. Food for days.
And for those wondering—no, we never got caught. Somehow.

So yeah, that’s my confession. I do feel a little bad—not for the food or booze—but for actually being inside someone else’s home without permission. That’s probably a pretty awful feeling to experience.

Mission complete.
Loot: Ribs, vodka, frozen peas.
Stealth: 2/10.
Regret: Also 2/10.