In the wide, wild world of bad friends, there’s a special category reserved for the ones who, when faced with a problem, blame the wrong person. But this story? This isn’t just a simple mistake. This is a five-alarm, victim-blaming dumpster fire, and I am losing my mind over the sheer, breathtaking audacity.
Our hero is a 23-year-old man who just moved to Seoul. He’s in great shape, and he got a job as a stage performer at a club, doing shows for female audiences. It’s a tough, physical gig. He dances, he interacts with the crowd, and sometimes, he gets “inappropriately touched”—scratched, grabbed, the works. It sucks, but the pay is good.
And he desperately needs that good pay. This isn’t just party money. His older brother just battled a serious illness, and his parents drained their savings to save him. They used to support our guy, but now the tables have turned. He’s the provider. He’s the one keeping his family afloat. This is not a “fun” job; it’s a lifeline.
Enter: the villains of our story. His 25-year-old best friend, “Jay,” and Jay’s 27-year-old girlfriend, “Annie.” Jay, in a move that will go down in the Bad Idea Hall of Fame, decided to use his work bonus to buy front-row tickets to his friend’s show. He knew exactly what the job was. He was bringing his girlfriend to a show where her-friend’s-hot-best-friend is the main attraction.
The show starts. Our performer is doing his job, which requires him to interact with the front row. He gets to their section. And Annie, with zero chill, “wrapped her arms around me, ran her hands over my body, and basically clung to me for several seconds.” But this is just “standard work stuff” for him.
This is where any sane, normal boyfriend would grab his girlfriend’s arm, hiss “what the hell are you doing,” and apologize to his friend later. But not Jay. Oh no. Jay started yelling at the performer to “get away from his girl” and then shoved him. He assaulted his friend. At his job. For doing his job.
Our hero, a true professional, is trained for this. He has a protocol for “jealous boyfriends.” He’s supposed to disengage, not argue, and just exit. This is a man who has been so harassed at work he has training for it, and his “best friend” just became one of the harassers.
After the show, Jay sends some angry voice messages, then a text. He “apologizes” for the attack, but the apology is just a Trojan horse for more blame. He says Annie is now “obsessed” with the performer and demands a face-to-face talk.
At a coffee shop, Jay lays out his “logic.” And it is… a masterpiece of delusion. He says: Annie won’t stop talking about him. Her touching him was “inappropriate.” (Duh, Jay). And therefore… the performer must quit his job.
I am screaming. Your girlfriend, of her own free will, groped your friend. And your solution is not to dump your obviously disrespectful girlfriend. It’s not to have a hard talk with her about boundaries. Your solution is to demand your best friend, who is supporting his sick family, become unemployed.
The performer, thankfully, has a spine made of steel. He said no. He explained, again, that this income supports his family. He explained that interacting with the audience is mandatory. And he pointed out the obvious: You brought her here, you idiot.
Jay’s final move? He accused his friend of “encouraging” her. He gave the ultimatum: “quit or we’re done.” And when our hero stood his ground, Jay blocked him everywhere.
So, is the performer the ahole for prioritizing his family’s survival over his friend’s unhinged, insecure, victim-blaming tantrum? Let’s be absolutely clear: N-T-A. He’s not just “not the ahole”; he’s the only adult in this entire story.
Jay is the ahole. Annie is the ahole. Jay is a spineless, weak man who would rather destroy a friendship and threaten his friend’s family’s well-being than confront his own girlfriend about her handsy, inappropriate behavior. What a friend.