This Man’s Wife Made a “Dying Wish” He Couldn’t Date. 6 Years Later, His Daughter is Calling Him a “Cheater” for Trying.

Grief is a monster. It’s a weird, individual, and often selfish thing. But there’s a line between “grieving” and “holding your living family members hostage to a memory,” and one family on Reddit is currently imploding right on that line.

Our story comes from a 45-year-old dad who is in an impossible situation. Six years ago, his wife passed away after a short illness. It was, as you can imagine, a nightmare. The day before she passed, when they still thought she might pull through, she said to him, “if I die, you’re not allowed to date.”

This is the kind of thing people say in the fog of fear and sickness. He, like any normal person, laughed it off and promised he wouldn’t. It was a moment of dark, weird humor. Except, his daughters were in the room. And they heard it. And that night, his wife went downhill, and she was gone by the next day.

So what has this man done for the last six years? He’s been a full-time, grieving, single father. He has spent six years raising his girls, and he just sent his youngest off to college in August. He did the work. He was the parent. He mourned.

But he’s 45. He’s not dead. He’s lonely, and he “needs companionship.” So, after years of going to support groups—a healthy, responsible way to process grief—he finally connected with another widow. He wasn’t even looking for it. They’ve been on a few dates, and he’s been trying to keep it quiet, clearly because he knew his daughters’ reaction would be… well, exactly what it was.

The secret came out in the most millennial way possible. He and his new lady friend were at a restaurant, and the server was… his older daughter’s high school friend. Of course she was. A text was obviously sent, because that night, the daughter called him.

And she didn’t just “call.” She called to scream at him. She accused him of “cheating on her mother.” Let me repeat that. Cheating. On a woman who has been gone for six years. She was weaponizing that “promise” she overheard when she was a teenager, a promise her dad made with a laugh, never imagining he’d actually be a widower 24 hours later.

This poor guy. He is so torn, he’s wondering if he’s a horrible person. He doesn’t want to spit on his wife’s grave, but he also doesn’t want to be alone for the next 40 years. He is stuck in a trap set by a “joke” and guarded by his own grieving children.

But here is the plot twist that proves this man is not, and has never been, the ahole. The wife’s sister—his sister-in-law—texted him. She, the woman who lost her own sister, told him that his wife’s “request” was “unreasonable and unfair.” She told him that her family is not going to judge him for moving on, and she even offered to talk to his daughter about it.

When the dead woman’s own sister is on your side, that is the end of the argument. That is the final word.

So, is he the ahole? Absolutely not. Not even in the same universe as the ahole. His daughter is the one being unfair, cruel, and manipulative. Her grief is valid. Her actions are terrible. You do not get to call your living, grieving father a “cheater” for trying to find a scrap of happiness after six years of loneliness.

That “request” wasn’t a dying wish. It was a weird, off-hand comment from a sick person that her daughter has twisted into a lifelong sentence. This dad has served his time. He is allowed to be happy.