I’ve always been the kind of person who feels too much. Like, too much. The smallest things hit me like a truck—an awkward silence, someone ignoring me, a weird look I can’t stop replaying in my head. I overthink everything. I write these intense love stories with happy endings because, honestly, I’m scared I’ll never get one in real life.
People say I’m quiet. Shy. Sweet. Sensitive. But they don’t really see how much that costs me. How much energy it takes to walk into a room and act like I’m okay when my brain is screaming at me about everything I said wrong yesterday. I try to own who I am—autistic, socially anxious, deeply emotional—but sometimes it just feels like no one wants someone like that. Like people just want confident, outgoing, normal.
And the worst part? I’m loyal. So fucking loyal. I fall hard. I romanticise everything. I’ll write you a whole story in my head after one good conversation. And yeah, maybe that’s too much, too fast, too intense. But it’s real. Every time. I don’t play games.
I don’t even know what I want from posting this. Maybe I just want someone to say “same.” Or “you’re not weird.” Or just… something. Anything to make me feel less invisible.
Anyway, if you read this, thanks for listening. I mean that.