Raising teenagers is a completely unpredictable journey. One minute they are fine, and the next they are acting like the world revolves entirely around them. You want them to feel comfortable in their own home, but you also need to teach them basic human empathy. One mom on Reddit recently found herself stuck between saving a young woman from homelessness and dealing with her own son’s incredibly toxic behavior.
The Original Poster is a mother in her 40s who is currently taking community college classes to earn her associate’s degree. She happens to share two classes with a 19-year-old girl named Amelia. Amelia is incredibly smart and sweet, but she was dealt a completely terrible hand in the parent department. Her family relentlessly mistreats her and essentially uses her for cheap labor.
Amelia was working close to 60 hours a week at her own father’s business. Instead of paying her a fair wage, he paid her less than minimum wage and then turned around and charged her almost everything she earned just to cover her rent. It is a textbook case of financial abuse. But things took a drastic turn for the worse when Amelia needed to get a simple oil change for her car.
Because she paid for basic car maintenance, Amelia came up slightly short on her rent. She gave her toxic parents every single dollar she had left, but they still heartlessly kicked her out onto the street. They did not even let the poor girl go back inside to pack her clothes. Amelia called the Original Poster in a panic, asking if she could just sleep on her couch until she figured things out.
The Original Poster did exactly what a good mother figure should do. She immediately said yes. Half an hour later, Amelia showed up with nothing but her car, her cell phone, and the clothes on her back. The mom immediately took her shopping to buy fresh clothes, basic toiletries, and school supplies. She set up the guest room and generously told the 19-year-old she could stay as long as she needed.
But bringing a new person into an established household is always tricky. The mom has a current husband, two little girls who are ages two and four, and a 16-year-old son from a previous marriage. The little girls absolutely love Amelia, and she is a massive help with them around the house. The 16-year-old son, however, decided to make Amelia’s life completely miserable.
The teenage boy absolutely hates having another person living in his house. He refuses to speak to Amelia, except to coldly ask her if she has gotten a job yet or demand to know when she is leaving. He acts incredibly petty with the household chores. When it is his turn to take out the trash, he intentionally skips her room. If she is sitting in the living room watching television, he will log into the remote app on his phone and constantly change the channel just to annoy her.
Naturally, the mom tried to parent her child and punish him for being so unbelievably cruel to a girl who literally just lost her entire family. But every single time she tries to discipline him, the teenager just packs his bags and runs away to his dad’s house. The mom tried to get her ex-husband on the same page, but the ex completely failed the parenting test.
The ex-husband actually defended the teenager’s horrible behavior. He blamed the Original Poster for the entire situation, claiming it was her fault for not asking her 16-year-old son for permission before taking Amelia in. He essentially believes a teenage boy should have full veto power over who his mother saves from a housing emergency.
The internet was highly divided on this one, crowning the situation an “everyone sucks” scenario. While a heads up is a standard courtesy for anyone living under your roof, you do not need a teenager’s explicit permission to use your own guest room during a literal emergency. The son is acting like a massive brat, but his father is the one actively enabling the terrible behavior. Empathy is a learned skill, and this teenager clearly needs a crash course before he enters the real world.
Your house your rules.
He can go & stay with his dad if he doesn’t like it. I think he’s jealous , feeling insecure.