We have all heard the saying “it takes a village to raise a child.” It is a beautiful sentiment about community and support. However, some people seem to think the “village” is actually just a synonym for “unpaid servants who have no lives of their own.” One 25-year-old woman on Reddit is currently living this nightmare after moving back home, only to find herself conscripted into being a third parent to her nephew because her sister is too busy chasing internet fame to do the school run.
Our narrator is a graphic designer who works a full-time 9-to-5 job. She moved back in with her parents to save money, which is a totally normal and smart move in this economy. Her older sister, a 26-year-old single mom, also relies heavily on the family for help with her 4-year-old son. Before the OP moved back, the grandparents and an uncle handled the childcare relay race. But the second the OP unpacked her bags, the baton was passed to her without anyone actually asking if she wanted to run the race.
Because the OP works remotely, her family has fallen into the classic trap of assuming that “working from home” means “sitting around doing nothing.” It unexpectedly became her sole responsibility to rush through her workday to pick up her nephew at 5:00 PM. This forces her to revolve her entire professional schedule and her social life around a toddler she did not birth. She offered to help once, and her family took that inch and stretched it into a six-month mile.
But here is where the story goes from “annoying family dynamics” to “absolute delusion.” The sister gets off work at 6:00 PM. You would think she would rush to pick up her son or at least come home to relieve her sister. Nope. The sister has started “blowing up on social media.” So, instead of parenting, she stays out until 8 or 9 PM to “make content.”
I need you to sit with that for a second. The OP and her parents are watching this child for hours every single night—after the OP has already worked a full day—so the sister can film TikToks or take golden hour selfies. She is prioritizing her follower count over her family’s sanity and her son’s bedtime.
The entitlement doesn’t stop at the weeknights. The sister has also mastered the art of the “sneak attack” drop-off. She dumps the kid at the house on weekends for “meetings” (read: brunch or influencers events), and the OP only finds out when she wakes up to the sound of a 4-year-old in the living room. The OP’s weekends are held hostage. Her boyfriend is rightfully frustrated because their plans are constantly canceled or shifted to accommodate a mother who refuses to mother.
And the cherry on top of this dysfunction sundae? The sister gets annoyed if the 4-year-old’s homework isn’t done by the time she finally graces them with her presence. She is outsourcing the pickup, the babysitting, and the parenting, but still has the nerve to critique the free labor she is receiving. It is honestly breathtaking.
The OP has finally started setting boundaries, asking her sister to maybe leave work early or handle her own child. The sister’s reaction? Frustration. She demands details on why the OP can’t help, as if “I have a job and a life” isn’t a valid enough reason. The parents are no help either, likely because they drove the uncle away with this same behavior and now need the OP to be the meat shield.
So, is she the ahole? Absolutely not. N-T-A. The sister is taking advantage of the “village” to build her brand. The OP is a graphic designer, not a nanny. Just because she is home doesn’t mean she is available, and just because she is family doesn’t mean her time has zero value. The boyfriend has the right idea: set those boundaries in stone now, or you will be raising this kid until he goes to college.