We have all heard of “Nice Guys.” You know the type. They claim they are sensitive and misunderstood while simultaneously judging women for dating “jocks” and plotting ways to manipulate them into a relationship. Usually these guys just complain on the internet and ruin dinner parties. But one “Nice Guy” on Reddit just took his entitlement to a dangerous new level by actively sabotaging a woman’s academic future just so he could play the hero later.
Our narrator is a 21-year-old student taking Organic Chemistry I. For those who haven’t had the pleasure of weeping over carbon bonds in a library at 3 AM let me tell you that this class is a beast. It is widely considered a “weeder” course designed to crush the dreams of aspiring doctors and scientists. Passing it requires a village or at least a really solid study group.
The OP seemed to be doing the right thing at first. He created a Google Doc with his personal notes and shared it with his friend group to help everyone out. He even encouraged them to invite others. Enter “Jess.” Jess is a 20-year-old friend of a friend. The OP has never really interacted with her but he has a “massive crush” on her.
But here is where the red flags start popping up like daisies. He has already decided who Jess is based entirely on her social media. He claims she isn’t into “sensitive smart guys” like him because her Instagram stories show her hanging out with “jock-like men.” The resentment is already simmering beneath the surface. He doesn’t know her but he has already decided she has bad taste because she hasn’t picked him.
Then the surveillance started. The OP noticed that Jess was viewing the shared Google Doc frequently. He could see her icon popping up constantly which meant she was studying hard. He also claims he “knows for a fact” she isn’t doing well in the class. Instead of feeling empathy or maybe just reaching out to offer help like a normal human being he hatched a plan so diabolical it sounds like a plot point from the show You.
He decided to put “subtle mistakes” in the notes. He intentionally corrupted the study material right before the third exam. His goal was to ensure she would fail. Why? So that he could then swoop in and offer to tutor her. He wanted to break her confidence and her grade so he could be the only one to fix it. He thought this would force her to interact with him and finally see his “great personality.”
I need you to sit with that for a second. He thinks his personality is “great” while he is actively plotting to ruin a woman’s GPA. That is not a great personality. That is a predator. He is manufacturing a crisis so he can force a damsel-in-distress scenario where he gets to be the savior. It is manipulative and cruel.
He told his friend about this genius strategy and the friend immediately called him an “incel ahole.” The friend is correct. The OP however thinks the friend is “overreacting.” He justifies his behavior by saying Jess “isn’t going to do well either way” so he is actually helping her in the long run by tricking her into his tutelage. The mental gymnastics required to view sabotage as a “win win” are truly Olympic level.
This isn’t romance. This is academic violence. Organic Chemistry grades matter. They determine med school acceptances and scholarships. He is playing with her future because he feels entitled to her time. He assumes she is failing on her own but just in case she isn’t he is going to make sure of it.
So is he the ahole? Yes. A thousand times yes. He is the ultimate ahole. He is the reason women cover their drinks at parties. He is the reason we don’t trust “nice” guys who offer to help. He proved exactly why she doesn’t date guys like him and it has nothing to do with being “sensitive” or “smart.” It is because he is dangerous.