Thought I was gay but I feel attracted to a woman

r/

I (27m) thought I was gay my whole life, dated girls in high school which looking back I feel like we made great friends but I was kinda using it to cover up being into guys. Recently moved and started a new job and me and this girl have been hitting it off to the point I got confronted by a coworker about what’s going on between us. I know she’s into me but I feel very confused and don’t want to hurt her or make things weird at work. I’m a verse sub with guys and don’t know how this would work out dating a girl. We have things planned outside of work to hang out but idk what to do. Any advice?

Comments

  1. Travellingtrex Avatar

    This is totally normal—sexuality can be fluid, and you’re not doing anything wrong by feeling attracted to her, even if you’ve identified as gay before. You don’t owe anyone a fixed label. You also don’t have to rush into defining things right now; you can enjoy getting to know her without putting pressure on yourself to figure everything out immediately.

    If it starts heading toward something romantic, it’s okay to be upfront that you’re exploring this part of yourself for the first time so she knows where you’re at. And as for the dynamic in the bedroom—you’ll figure that out together if it gets there. You don’t need to have all the answers before giving yourself permission to see where this goes.

  2. Public_Ad_1411 Avatar

    Are you perhaps bisexual? 

  3. Philpossomer Avatar

    OP discovers they are BI.

    It’s totally OK btw! Sexuality is what you make of it. You can like 99% dudes and 1% ladies! Still BI.

  4. kchek Avatar

    Love is love, always has been. I wouldn’t worry about it and just follow your head (the one on your shoulders) and your heart. Tell everyone else to pound sand and mind their own business.

  5. hardshankd Avatar

    You could be bisexual and not gay.

  6. AshamedRule7579 Avatar

    Perhaps you are bisexual and just unaware? See where thing go, be open with yourself and her. Sexuality can be quite fluid.

  7. tiffasparkle Avatar

    Its really okay 🙂 as we get older, our understandings of ourselves and the world chsnge and grow as we learn about ourselves and others. 

    Just communicate with your romantic partners about who you are, but the sex and attraction part gets less important as you age for many of us, and its really about finding a person you wanna spend quality time with on a long term basis and share your home and life and events with. 

    For me, i am more attracted kindness than any body type or gender.

  8. GuardianMtHood Avatar

    Souls my brother. We are attracted to souls when you put down the ego mask. The vessel is but material mask. It’s a part if you but as it and your soul unite you find what your heart desires. It can be quite surprising to people when or if they do.

  9. Old-Meringue-1376 Avatar

    Don’t worry about it! Go with your gut and it’s the right choice, even if it’s not what your head thought. And even if it’s only for a short time! Live fully. Experience fully. Don’t close yourself off!

  10. Obismokeaoney Avatar

    If it feels right go with it. No reason to put yourself in a box and label it.

  11. plaignard Avatar

    Who needs labels anyway? Follow the feelings.

  12. Holidaynow-197 Avatar

    Hmmmm luckily you are just talking about sexual preferences changing and not transitioning because that would be horrible

  13. Desperate_Tax8711 Avatar

    I know plenty of people who had partners of the same sex but ended up marrying a person of the opposite sex and vice versa. As long as the person makes you happy, go for it.

  14. Ambitious-Rip-5369 Avatar

    If she’s making you happy and doing things right and you like her just go for it simple , don’t complicate yourself.

  15. CarobAffectionate582 Avatar

    Congrats, you just doubled your dating pool candidates.

    Bang it out and see how it goes.