☝️ Put a finger down if you Have ever gone camping, and out of nowhere you need to take a dump. So you go and squat behind a tree, and come to find out that you forgot to grab the toilet paper from your truck, so you do it the old cowboy way and grab the nearest leafy plant near you to fight the brown trout, and almost immediately your entire life flashes in front of your eyes because your chocolate starfish is now simultaneously in pain and burning. In the brief clarity that you have from the spasms your asshole is pulsating to, you look at the the plant you chose to wipe yourself with, and then you remember the rhyme you were taught in 3rd grade about poison Ivy “Leaves of three, let it be!” And the plant next to you have three leaves. ✊
TL;DR: TIFU by wiping my arse with poison ivy, in a moment of desperation.