This happened a few years back, and it still haunts me. I went to a local bar/grill. As the hostess seated me, she asked if she could get me a drink. I said yes, and she asked for my ID. This is where I effed up.
I should note, I’m 6’6, and a big guy with a beard. She was a petite 21 year-old.
I pulled out my ID. It was a horrid Pic- I have on an orange shirt, and I was too tall for the cera, so I’m looking down at a weird angle. I looked like a creeper, and in the orange shirt, a convict. So as I had her my ID I say “Laugh it up, it makes me look like a serial predator.”
In good humor she says “Well, mine makes me look like a 14-year old girl.
‘Well, that’s perfect,” I say, “They’ll have pictures to use for both of us when you go missing.” One of those moments where I was trying to be funny, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth I instantly wanted them back.
She gave a very awkward laugh and I never saw her again. Didn’t get that drink I ordered, either.
TL;DR: Trying to be funny when asked for my ID, ended up being creepy and implying I had a thing for 14 year-old girls instead.
Comments
It’s actually pretty funny. I’d have made your drink a priority. World needs to loosen up a little. Not everything is an offense.
I thought that was pretty good
You had a very Hagrid moment. “I should not have said that.”
One night I was driving new-ish friends home from the bar and one of them needed to put something in my trunk. My trunk is virtually empty and one of them asked why. I said, “more room for the bodies” which was obviously a joke but probably not the best joke to tell amongst people who are still getting to know you.
I’d be terrified if someone I didn’t know made a joke like that to me but it’s pretty funny hearing how the other side of these conversations can sometimes play out innocently
333
Bro really went from “can I see your ID” to “here’s my future mugshot” in under 10 seconds.
If I’m ever in this situation I’ll remember this joke and be sure to tell it
No joking around snowflakes. Literally anything can trigger them.
There’s a Dana Gould quote I’m having trouble finding that this reminded me of.
Not exact but:
“You ever say something out loud and, as soon as the words come out of your mouth, you want to put them back with a shotgun?”
Dude, that conversation was funny. I don’t care. Sure, you should have followed it up with something lighter. But still perfect dialogue.
Lol I hope she posted a TIFU saying she accidentally set you up like in To Catch a Predator with that 14 yr old comment
I meant to say, Honey, would you pass the jam, but what came out of my mouth was you fucking bitch you’re ruining my life.
Oof, that joke crashed hard!
Dude that was hilarious she wasn’t the right one
Goes to the airport,
“Did anyone else pack your bag?”
“Hell yah, a guy with a big beard stuck a bomb in there! Har!”
He was Oscar Wilde in a past life.
You too!
My friend noticed a random new neighbor trying to move a mattress into her apartment. He was trying to be a nice friend, so he went over to help her – and in the process of moving the mattress, he mentioned he lived in the same building. She said, “Well, at least I know you’re not a serial killer, because serial killers wouldn’t be so nice.”
What he should have said: Nothing. Not one thing. Zero things. Silence.
What he DID say: You’d be surprised.
TL;DR, it happens to the best of us.
Idk the vibe fit imo, you made a joke about looking like a predator and she made a joke about looking underaged, feels like you were both on the same page until you weren’t lol. Seems like she wanted to play dark humor without knowing what real dark humor is, not a FU imo.
That IS hilarious, but if a stranger said that to me, especially one much bigger than me, I would also be terrified. As a 3rd party, though, the horrific awkwardness just makes this even funnier.
sounds like the sorta joke i’d have made
the bros would lol
but the chicks…. different kinda humor
That’s fucking hilarious bro😭
As a serial- serial killer documentary- watcher, I must say the serial killer always makes a joke about his serial killings.
This is the kind of thing would say.
I don’t blame you.
I also constantly have the, “why did I fucking say that?” moments.
Yeah, that joke didn’t land well. Your attempt at humor came off as super creepy, and the implication of kidnapping and child exploitation is just not okay. You probably won’t be seeing that hostess again, and that’s for the best.
Oof, that’s a classic case of comedy bombing hard. Sometimes the brain’s like “say the thing” without the filter. Good on you for owning it, but yeah, maybe next time keep the serial predator jokes in the vault. Bar humor is a tightrope, and you just tripped spectacularly.