Obligatory happened yesterday but had been in the making for a long time. For years I have had an unhealthy obsession with shoes. Think Carrie Bradshaw on a slightly smaller budget. The sky high stilettos were what I wore every day. Even in the snow I had my heeled boots. I could drive a manual transmission in my heels! I was dedicated! I amassed such a beautiful collection over the past 20 years. Truly exquisite pieces of art. Everyone told me for years I would regret it. Everyone. Fuck them. What do they know? I know my body. I know my tolerance. I know what I like. And I love my shoes and the way they make me feel!
Well for the past 10 years or so, I noticed that my toe/s would crunch when I walked. It got bad enough that 4 years ago I retired my heels to more conservative boots and booties with a low heel. Well the crunching only got worse. It got to a point where my gait was affected bc I couldn’t stand properly.
So off to the doc I go. New doc btw bc my previous one retired. New doc took full history and asked a million questions. Then she asked about my shoe collection. Strange? I felt my face light up with joy and sadness at the same time. I’ve mourned the loss of my beauties locked away in the closet. Once I finished my word vomiting, doc looked at me and said “Hon… have you ever heard of a hammer toe?”
My heart sunk. I knew what that meant. Big blocky shoes. No heels. Nothing fun. And that it possibly meant surgery. Doc said it’s pretty bad and referred me to a surgical podiatrist while she splinted my toes up and explained the eventual surgery that I would need.
Guess we’ll find out just how bad I fucked up when I see the specialist. It was a 20 year long fuck up in the making, but TODAY I learned that I truly did, in fact, 100%, fuck up.
And the worst part?? They were all right. Every single one of them. I was just the idiot. Albeit a damn good looking idiot.
TL:DR wore high heels for 20 years and didn’t listen to anyone who told me I would regret it. Doc said I might need surgery to fix my fucked up toe bc I can’t stand up straight.
Comments
If literally everyone is telling you the same thing, a fact that’s pretty easily verifiable on the internet from competent and verified sources, you should work on believing them. But some people really do have to learn the hard way…
Hope your surgery and recovery go well.
AI doesn’t have feet.
You know, none of us gets out alive in the end. I’m hearing you had a hobby that you loved and enjoyed for 20 years, and are now experiencing some age-related consequences for that hobby. If you acquired a sports injury or hurt yourself hiking, no one would bat an eye. And people walk around every day significantly overweight and do irreversible and severe harm to their health as a consequence, and while that’s not good, life is choice.
Do you need to accept the consequences and modify your activity now, and maybe eat a little I-Told-You-So crow? Yes. Does it make you a bad person for choosing to do something you enjoy, knowing that down the road you may pay a price? I don’t think so.
Love,
A horseback rider with a connective tissue disorder
I have a beautiful closet of heals I can’t wear either. It breaks my heart all the time.
…And Just Like That: Hammer Toe.
Oof, fashion really said beauty before toes. Hope the podiatrist can work magic!
high heels took your toes and your pride but at least you went down sexy af queen
My Grandma wore heels every day when she was young to give her height. Now even her house slippers have to be wedges as she has moulded her feet to have that arch! One of the first things she warned me about from personal experience.
A receptionist where I worked had worn heels to worn everyday for at least 20 years. Her knees ended up trashed but she came back to work in heels during recovery (think big swollen knee in brace) because her tendons/muscles in the back of her legs had apparently shortened over the years and it was causing her pain to wear flats! Wild.
I had surgery on each of my big toes last year ( 5 months apart) and it was the best thing I’ve ever done! No more pain, back in my kitten heels and high wedges and nearly back in some of my beautiful higher heels (if not stilettos). My PCP recommended an orthopedic surgeon and 85% was covered by insurance. The second toe was almost free bc I met my deductible with the first. Do a little research and see if it’s right for you before giving up!
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And people think I’m crazy when I say high heels are a tool of the modern patriarchy. It’s just modern, Western foot binding.
You had a good long run with your heels. You don’t deserve to feel guilty. Some people get away with everything!