I’m a camp counselor and TIFU by giving an avid reader in my cabin Richard Siken’s “Crush.”
This is so horrible I actually cringe when I’m reminded. She is in 5th grade, going into 6th. She finished her two 500+ page books in about 4 days, and I had only brought Crush and Song of Achilles’, which I had not read much of but knew was explicit, so I knew I shouldn’t give it to her. I don’t know why, I guess because I had offered to give it to her, and tried to kind of convince her it was good because she was skeptical, but when she asked for it, I completely forgot about all the lewd themes (Read “Dirty Valentine” by Siken to get an idea). I also hadn’t really read much, and was planning to read the rest on my break. This book is by no means appropriate for an 11 year old. I am no stickler on this, but I would never let my child read that book at her age.
Eventually, she handed it back and said she was no longer interested (much before she could possibly read every one). I figured that it was probably pretty dense for a 5th grader, but I was just glad to have given her momentary entertainment.
I reread a little that night, and my jaw dropped rereading the aforementioned Dirty Valentine (on page 2 no less, she definitely read it). I feel like such a pervert for giving her such an explicit book. I apologized and told her that it wasn’t appropriate for me to give it to her and she said “They give us stuff like that to read in class” and I can only hope that some of it went over her head. Still, I tried to tell her that under no circumstances should adults be giving her stuff with that material, but I feel like I wasn’t firm or clear enough, or I let it slide out of embarrassment too quickly.
I keep imagining her growing up and realizing that that was a horrible thing to do. I don’t even know how to rectify the situation, especially because I know she was being “cool” about it because she wanted to seem mature or impress me.
TLDR; TIFU by giving an 11 year old Richard Siken’s “Crush”, which has overtly explicit themes, and I feel like I didn’t tell her it was really bad for me to have done that clearly enough.
Comments
When I was 10 I helped organize some shelves in the school library and the librarian gave me a copy of Flowers for Algernon because I had the reading comprehension and the book was too mature for an elementary school library. I don’t think she remembered how graphic that book was. I turned out fine and even though I’ve since lost the book it’s still one of my most cherished memories.
Meh, my mother handed me my first Stephen King book (Cujo—don’t ask me why that was the first) the summer after 4th grade and I turned out reasonably normal (or at least not any more un-normal than I would’ve anyway)
When my daughter was 11 she read Hitler’s Mein Kampf, Marx’s Das Kapital, Machiavelli’s The Prince and the Bible from cover to cover. I don’t think we should assume that 11 year olds are all sweet innocent little things. (FWIW the one with the biggest influence on her was Marx – she’s a communist these days in her 30s.)
The fact you feel bad makes me think you’re a decent person. And the fact she got vaugly not far into and realized it wasn’t for her means she’s a solid girl with a strong mind. Lesson learned.
Just a side note maybe use this as a way of starting a little free library at the camp, so kids have a good access to books while there.
Nah I read the poems in question, you didn’t fuck up or do anything creepy and she’s right, that’s about the same sort of stuff you’d read in a school without draconian censorship. She probably just didn’t like the poetry and/or the themes went over her head. 11 year olds aren’t generally interested in stuff like that.
I remember when I was 10 or 11, I loved sci-fi and fantasy. My grandma gifted me a sort of steampunky sci-fi book about time travel that, on the surface, probably seemed geared towards a YA audience, but which actually had a fair amount of sex scenes and a major plotline where the protagonist falls in love with a prostitute. I remember enjoying the book but also wondering why the hell my grandma got it for me 😅
I read all sorts of wildly inappropriate stuff as a kid – some of it sexually explicit
I learned a lot, got to think through all sorts of other viewpoints and came to appreciate a much wider array of different perspectives
It harmed nothing and taught me to never get trapped in anyone else’s ideological boxes
What the hell is wrong with you? You probably shouldn’t be allowed within a mile of children.
I was and still am an avid reader and I would scoop up any books I found at home and read them.
Mum found me reading Silence of the Lambs when I was 9 and snatched it away from me. I was so annoyed at her.
I read it as a teenager and I understand why! Thankfully I didn’t know what the C word meant at 9…..
When I was 12 my grandma gave me a Mills & Boon book. I read it not knowing expecting my very straight laced grandma to read something like that.
I should have known when she said “don’t let your mum see”.
Should’ve given them 1984 or doors of perception
I read lots of ‘inappropriate’ books as a kid, no harm done. I didn’t seek them out but my parents didn’t pay much mind to keeping spicy books out of arms reach. I almost think it’s a rite of passage to accidentally read a sex scene when you’re 11 and be absolutely mortified. As others have said, it’s a good sign that she read a few pages and realised it wasn’t appropriate for her. Kids are resilient, she’ll be fine, it’ll be a funny story when she’s older.
If it makes you feel any better, I let my 11 yo hockey playing daughter read what I thought was a cute fictional book about hockey based on the cartoonish pic on the cover. Nope. It was basically porn and I didn’t learn this until about 3 months ago (she’s 14 now) when I started getting into steamy romance novels and learned that hockey was a genre. I looked it up and it had a 4 out of 5 🌶️level. Oops. Turns out she’s still a good human being, but I truly felt like the worst parent.