TIFU by accidentally killing my baby goose.

Hello reddit, Im so sorry for the format and any spelling mistakes, or really any problem with this read, I dont do this often. I truly just want to be done with life. But I won’t. This would be my second post and I just need to rant.

It was actually yesterday, but I couldn’t say anything. I don’t know if my family even has reddit or any friends, but I just need to say something.

Some background. I had gotten a new baby goose to see if my older goose will take the baby because she was brody or whatever a while ago. We have 1 goose (female), 3 ducks(male and female), 5 chickens (male and female), and a guinea fowl. Idk if I’m actually spelling right because I’m latterly just tearing up. We get new birds when we want or just to have more eggs. Our males have not gotten any females pregnant, I’m a bit sad.

Anyways, I call them all my babies, they’re my little baby birds (all are grown, sorry.) And we haven’t had any new babies in a bit, and we wanted a new goose and guinea fowl. This is where 7Up and Snowflake comes in. 7Up is the baby goose and Snowflake was a white fowls. I loved my babies and tried to make them hang out with the older ones, but they didn’t like them. So I put them in a large enough cage and took them in. (I usually introduce them when they’re a bit older if babies don’t work out)

Now, I honestly don’t remember this one part, but we had gotten another fowl, Safari. He grew up and we put Snowflake with him, they hit it off. Safari took care of Snowflake just enough. Till Snowflake drowned. I need you all to listen. I have never killed an animal in my life. Yes, I had many pets die in my life, but they either got hurt by a Bob cat (another story for another time) or get sick (a different story). I feel a bit sad because it was now just 7Up and Safari. Safari was older but not big kids level for my other birds. We also have baby bunnies because my bunny and her hubby had lovely babies.

It’s summer and I bring in the baby bunnies to my room. I have a play area for them. I then take 7Up out of his cage when I wake up. His home was in our old hamster cage on a shelf of mine. He woke up when I did and he always cried for me. I loved him so much. His full name was ‘7Up Elvis The Chad’. Yes, I know, very cool. But, he was my baby. He always picked on our baby bunnies so I would hold him most times. I took him where I went, outside, the kitchen, bedroom, car, and I would let him sit in the sink or tub when I had to use the toilet (Yes. That clingy).

June 7th 2025.
My baby was gone that evening. I think it was around 6 through 7. I was outside in our backyard with my mom. I was helping her with yard work and she told me to leave my baby on the ground because he followed, so I did and when done with small tasks I held him. She said mommy’s don’t pick up babies. (NOT in a rude way, I love my mom) So I let him follow, I always knew where he was, and it was only this one thing. My mom and I are close, I also had my little sister there, (I don’t like my sister) we had a makeshift fence made (more detail if you want in comments) and my mom and I were talking over it, (It wasn’t high, maybe at my chest) 7Up was about 2 feet away on my right. My mom and I were talking, she was so sweaty, we laughed and she tried to wipe her sweat on me, it was so funny, I love my mom. I stepped back. My little sister ran closer. I don’t blame my mom. I kinda blame my sister. But it was all me. I shouldn’t have stepped back. 7Up ran to me right when I did. I hate myself so much. I miss my baby… He was a good one too. My mom and I screamed, I saw him. Right on his neck too. I saw something come out of his ear, I saw him try to breath, I just turned and stood there while my mom ran inside. I should have held him. I should’ve done anything for my baby. He used to hide in my hair and sit on my lap. He was my baby boy. (I still never knew the gender, he wasn’t old enough, so I called it a he, sorry)

I really hated it. I couldn’t move. My mom came back out with my dad. He threw him in out outdoor trash can (I really wanted to burry him, but I couldn’t say anything at the moment) my mom, dear God my wonderful mom. She just held me. She hugged me and told me it was her fault. I didn’t say anything. I don’t blame her. Not one bit. But my baby was gone. I never killed any before. And it hurt. I’m crying typing this out. I miss my baby. I loved my baby. And it hurts. We stood there for a while while we cried. It didn’t take long before we slowly stopped. She said we would get another one. We did. Her name is Diet 7Up. She’s so loud I’m gonna name her Car alarm.

I heard my mom crying in her bathroom. And it hurt. I didn’t mean to. I wish I held my baby. At night, I would just cry. It hurt so much. Maybe because I killed him by my stupid foot. I can’t with myself. Still, if you mad either this far, thank you for reading. I really needed to rant and speak (or type) how I feel right now. I started to write small notes in a notebook to my baby. It hurts. But it makes me feel better. I can’t get the picture out of my mind. I’m so sad. I’m so sorry for my baby. All I can do is blame myself.

TL;DR I was having too much fun stepped back, right onto my baby goose. I hate my life.