My boyfriend has this little chaos goblin of a cat named Magoo. She’s a lovable menace with strong “I do what I want” energy. Earlier today, she stretched her paw out toward me in that casual “I own you” way cats do.
And in a moment of pure intrusive thought energy, I jokingly put her paw in my mouth. Not in a gross way no biting, no licking, just a harmless nom Intrusive thoughts won, as usual.
Yes, I KNOW it’s gross. I fully recognize this cat walks in a litter box. But this was not a logical decision it was a dumb, impulsive moment. No thoughts,
Anyway, she immediately pulled her paw back like, “ew wtf, human.” Fair. I assumed that was the end of our weird little exchange.
Nope.Not even five seconds later, she reaches out her other paw but this time, she looks weirdly intentional about it. I laugh, open my mouth again because clearly I’ve learned nothing, and she straight up willingly shoves her whole foot down my throat like she’s trying to check my tonsils . I gag. She looks smug. I realize I’ve made a huge mistake.
Here’s the thing I don’t think she understands why I put her foot in my mouth in the first place. I think she just decided, “Oh, this is how we show affection now. This is our thing.”
Like some kind of ceremonial bonding ritual.
And now she keeps trying to do it again. Every time I lie down, or yawn, or open my mouth too wide, she’s there. Ready. Watching. Toe beans at full extension.
This cat thinks she unlocked the secret to bonding with humans, and unfortunately that secret is gagging us with her foot.
The truly cursed part? I’m kind of mildly excited to see her try it on my boyfriend. He has no idea.
I can already picture it he yawns innocently, and suddenly he’s choking on a fuzzy toe bean surprise. I’ve seen the look in her eye. She’s just waiting for the right moment.
TL;DR I jokingly put my boyfriend’s cat’s paw in my mouth. She misunderstood and now believes sticking her foot in our mouths is a bonding ritual. I know it’s gross, I didn’t think it through it was just an impulsive intrusive thought moment. Boyfriend is next. I am both ashamed and excited.
Comments
gross
Oh boy 🤣
Lmfao I actually do the opposite to my cat. He wont yawn near me anymore.
You definitely have to update us on the forced bean sandwich of love when your boyfriend gets to experience it.
I accidentally taught an ex boyfriend’s cat to kiss everyone as they came in the front door. The cat liked the smell of the gum I always chewed. There was one of those 70s divider walls at the entrance to the house so the cat would sit there and I’d lean in while he sniffed my gum breath. Then I kind of puckered my lips like a kiss. And then he wanted everyone to let him smell their breath, which ultimately morphed into intentional kissing for entry. In this case it was actually pretty adorable. As will the paw- in-mouth maneuver.
have fun with your toxoplasmosis 🤣
Are you sure it’s the cat that is the chaos goblin?
Catface has been planning on eating the humans…….but has grown to love them. Now knows that the humans could eat her. And one of them seemed to “Want” to eat Catface. Catface chooses to boldly volunteer for this ultimate sacrifice to please her beloved humans, who are clearly STARVING!
I had a rough day and this was the first thing that truly made me laugh. I hope to see an update post tomorrow when chaos goblin gets paw in dad’s mouth.
That’s adorable! Kitties are so silly.
Girl, bruh, pal, no. Stop it. Get some help.
my cat is chill but he brushed my face with his candy cane tail and i pretended to bite it, didnt really, he got so mad he tried to claw my face and hissed. now he lets me
Updateme
My cat doesn’t put her paw in my mouth but she does put her paw to my face and lips and gently caress/pet my face. This is her way of letting me know she wants to be petted herself. It is adorable, unless it is in the middle of the night and you are sleeping and she wakes you up several times just so you can pay attention to her.
Your fetishes are odd, human
Let us know what happens with your bf.
I need a update
Am I the only one here who’s read this exact story before?
I’m pretty sure that cats naturally see especially hind feet as weapons, and hanging out with a vulnerable part (face) by their feet can be seen as a display of trust, similar to rolling on your back. So it totally makes sense to me that your cat would get into this as a furtherance of the “I own you” vibes. Thanks for sharing!
You definitely have the toxoplasmosis now! Congratulations.
I kiss my cats on the top of their head. Occasionally Mercy will try to show me affection by headbutting me in the mouth.
By pure accident, my husband taught his cat to do the same. First, he taught her “kiss” which is where she’s supposed to head-bunt his face while he kisses her little forehead. Then, he taught her “shake” where she gives him her paw like a doggy. Then he forgot that she’s a little stupid (affectionate) and he ALSO did the “finger in the mouth when you yawn” bit to her.
So, obviously, some wires crossed in her little empty head and now when he asks her for a kiss, she’ll think about it very hard and about half the time she’ll just gently bop him in the mouth.
Toxoplasmosis.
AI
I have done the nom thing with the tip of my cats’ ears, but they don’t love it. That’s one weird cat you’ve got there!
How many times did you have to put your foot in the cats mouth for it to stick?
Once I taught someones cat that llaying with springy door stops was the best thing ever. Was not invited back.
So ai generated
Pure intrusive thought energy
I have never before laughed at a Reddit story so hard that I cried! 😂🤣😂
Poopy paws on ya
This is a beautiful connection
I did the opposite with my last dog
I was just being a lil, minor nuisance, and i would put my hand in my puppy’s mouth when he yawned. He grew to think that’s just What You Do when you yawn. For the rest of the time I had him he’d put his mouth on my leg or arm every time he yawned and just sit there for a minute lmao
I did the opposite with my last dog
I was just being a lil, minor nuisance, and i would put my hand in my puppy’s mouth when he yawned. He grew to think that’s just What You Do when you yawn. For the rest of the time I had him he’d put his mouth on my leg or arm every time he yawned and just sit there for a minute lmao
I did the opposite with my last dog
I was just being a lil, minor nuisance, and i would put my hand in my puppy’s mouth when he yawned. He grew to think that’s just What You Do when you yawn. For the rest of the time I had him he’d put his mouth on my leg or arm every time he yawned and just sit there for a minute lmao
I did the opposite with my last dog
I was just being a lil, minor nuisance, and i would put my hand in my puppy’s mouth when he yawned. He grew to think that’s just What You Do when you yawn. For the rest of the time I had him he’d put his mouth on my leg or arm every time he yawned and just sit there for a minute lmao
This is hilarious and adorable. I am parking myself right here so I can check back for an update.
Rescued a sweet kitty from a grocery store parking lot at the end of June. Dude didn’t know how to cat from what I could tell. He started copying everything my other rescue from last October who pretty much runs the freaking house. Now I have two chaos goblins who tag team biting my feet to get me up before the sun for breakfast. He has become very vocal as we walk down the hall from my bedroom to the kitchen to start our day. They do learn quickly.
This is the best thing I’ve heard in a while
I’m really gonna need an update on this one.
Updateme!
I wish I could show this story to my husband but there’s about 75% chance he’d decide to teach our cats to shove their feet in our mouths afterwards
Cat tax, please
And now if you reject her toe bean sandwich she will think you don’t love her.
Def need an update to this!
Probably ought to un-teach her. Just smooch her foot or hug her when she sticks her paw out.
I realize it might be funny to see your BF get blindsided by this behavior but he might get startled and react negatively – like tossing cat or yelling – which might be funny to you but not to the cat (you know a living, breathing, feeling, creature that’s dependent on it’s humans for care and affection).
Imagine that the next time this happen, the person freaks out, the cat freaks out, claws extend, blood every where. Ouch. I hope that never happens.
r/foundsatan
impulsive thought not intrusive
I know someone who got insanely sick from his gf’s cat going to the litter box then immediately sticking his paws in said sleeping guys mouth
Fuzzy toe bean surprise sent me
I need to know if she also tries to do it with your boyfriend. My GF did the same mistake with one of our cats but he seems to think its only a thing with her.