TIFU by adopting a orange menace

r/

So this is about my cat, Cheeto a 50% fur, 50% chaos, 0% brain cell kind of creature.

Today’s events began when Cheeto made the executive decision to dance to the beat of his own meowth. My roommate’s in the hallway when I hear her yell

Fuckinng Cheeto. Stop tripping me, you little bastard.”
Followed by a loud thud and an even louder, “CHEETO!!!”

I crack my door and ask, “Uh… you good?” She shouts back, “Don’t come out here, I’m getting out of the shower CHEETO TRIPPED ME!”

Fast forward I’m peacefully asleep that night when my brain gets jolted awake because Cheeto decided to bite me directly in the nose.

Not satisfied with his day’s work, he then jumps into my dresser drawer. But instead of landing like a normal cat, he manages to take the entire dresser down with him in one majestic crash.

This animal’s final brain cell is working at half power and pure spite.
I love him, but I’m starting to think he’s the reason we can’t have nice things.

TL;DR My cat tripped my naked roommate, bit me in the nose while I was sleeping, and pulled my dresser over. He’s orange. That’s all you need to know.

Comments

  1. Laserdollarz Avatar

    My orange boy had the r/OneOrangeBrainCell today. I think he’s almost done with it.

  2. Traditional-Key-991 Avatar

    Ahh, dually blessed and cursed fate of Oranges.
    Some are lucky to be born with access to the 1 braincell they all share, others have lost this connection. Yet these fuzzy little creamsicles are so precious 😻

  3. MaleficentCucumber71 Avatar

    Did you use AI to write this?

  4. Silver_slasher Avatar

    My orange cats have never been like that. The black and white cats we have are the ones that are constantly acting a fool lol

  5. AmputeeHandModel Avatar

    They make brackets to secure furniture to the wall. You should get some before Cheeto becomes a pancake. Those things kill kids all the time, I’m sure it could kill a cat.

  6. Onikenbai Avatar

    Do what I did: I went to the dollar store and bought TEN of those mouse toys that make chirpy/squeaky noises anytime it gets touched and started tossing them all around the living room. I eventually had to reboot the cat from overloading the processor, but I did get some peace.

  7. Prattytheporcupine Avatar

    My orange bites my nose every morning to wake me up and feed him

  8. frostryn Avatar

    My orange cat slept on my pillows & smacked me in the face when he wanted me to wake up. When I hid under the pillows so he couldn’t find me, he’d cryyyyyy. I miss that orange menace every day

  9. MouthOfMahem Avatar

    You have the perfect cat, BTW

  10. pinupcthulhu Avatar

    Cat LPT: always get two cats. Single Kitten Syndrome is totally a thing, and it makes them absolute terrors. Plus, then they can entertain each other, so kitty is less obnoxious.

    Get a tortie for a winning Jean and Jorts combo!

  11. TangerineLily Avatar

    You post about a cat and don’t share a photo?

    Pay your cat tax!

  12. kevnmartin Avatar

    Go Crimez! Cheeto is just expressing the rituals of his ancestors.

  13. corrector300 Avatar

    I had an orange for 18 years, he must have been the exception to the internet rule. so smart.

  14. RazorRush Avatar

    My Orange menace Georgie will hide in wait and pounce on your ankle to hug it and bite you. Not enough to bring blood but it makes my wife scream. I just shake him off. Right now he’s asleep on my lap. Pretending to be cool. I love him.

  15. MonCappy Avatar

    He tripped your naked roommate and she still isn’t moving out?  I think it’s time to do something nice for her.  Your cat sounds like a hilarious furball of chaos.

  16. TittyRotater Avatar

    I had an orange cat as well, and she did the nose biting thing as well. one time she did it waking me up, and in my mostly still asleep state reflexively decided to bite her back, the front half of her face went into my mouth i immediately regretted my actions cus it was gross (i didnt actually bite her don’t worry) and it made her scream and run away.

    she was afraid of me for a few hours and was also afraid of being near my head for a while but at least i wasn’t getting my nose bitten in my sleep

  17. Natedawg120 Avatar

    I miss my Oliver really hard after reading this story lol.

  18. SpanishFlamingoPie Avatar

    I am way too tired to be on the Internet. I read that as “Cheeto made the executive decision to beat off in his own mouth.” Good night

  19. sneezyailurophile Avatar

    https://preview.redd.it/wfxi1kcbzzhf1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1fd903c4ea94d9607e552f8b8d709f36a3c20e99

    Our former Cheeto getting to the very top of the deck. How he got up there is a mystery. He’s blind and fearless. The adorable little menace was recently adopted. 🧡