Actually happened yesterday, when I was hanging out with the girl I love and want a relationship with but is currently not interested in getting into a relationship with anyone.
We had a bit of a rocky year and while seeing me she met a guy who she then had a fling with. This happened a month ago and then he left the country permanently. And because I wonder where she positions me after that I asked not one, but two stupid questions.
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If her fling was better at kissing than I am
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How long was their kissing session (this was a followup because for some time I felt like she wanted to avoid kissing me even though she kept telling me I was taking the best care of her and deserve a kiss numerous times)
Yeah, I dug my own grave right there and then. She even asked me if I am sure I wish to know and I said “I will probably regret it, but yeah, I’d like to know what happened”. The answers to both questions felt like numerous stabs to my heart. I appreciate her being honest, but fuck it hurts.
Even though there’s many more areas that matter in a relationship than kissing, where we are the perfect fit, this answer still stings. We did talk about a lot of other stuff and she said and did a lot of things that strongly indicate (or she outright said so) her wanting us to be together. I think I just need to focus on “the good” more.
TL;DR: asked a girl I’m seeing if her fling from a month ago was a better kisser and now her “yes” haunts me.
Comments
She for the streets, move on she ain’t yours.
Yeah im sure it hurts a lot. Might be best to just find someone that you have that kind of chemistry with where you WILL be the best kiss
She had a fling while she was seeing you, were you 2 dating or exclusive either way just move on and forget her
In the future, when you’re with a girl who wants to be with you and you know what that feels like, you will look back on this and see how absurd the situation is.
she’s just not that into you, bro.Â
You didn’t mess up by asking these questions. You found out what she really thinks of you.
Your fuck up is not asking the questions, your fuck up is continuing to chase after someone who is seeing other people. You need to have a significantly higher amount of respect for yourself.
It is okay if you let this person go. You can and will find someone else who is just as lovable but is not straining you along for a year while banging other people.
As someone once said: “Don’t ask questions you’re not prepared to hear the answer of.”
Physical contact is a skill – learn and get better at it.
It’s okay to see someone in a non exclusive way, unlike the fucking incels in the thread are saying. But it goes both ways – see other people too, practice and get better.
No need to pull out measuring tape
Why do you say you’re seeing her when you also say she doesn’t want a relationship? I’m confused.
🤣 People worry about the wrong things because they don’t know what they deserve.
This aint your fault op, but I just don’t understand why people ask questions they do not want to know the answer to. In general. You are right that you should focus on the positives. Comparing to others is fruitless, unless you are hoping to improve. Now you know where you might do that and hell practice could be fun lol
Better to know than to live on false dreams.
This “perfect fit” is imagined in your head. Her “strongly indicated” desire to be with you is a temporary void fueled by the fear of loneliness, filled by the ease of having you. Her actions will forever speak louder than words- if you were truly someone long desired, this fling would have never occurred. Have some self respect, and look elsewhere for the long term; lest you just be a placeholder for the next fling.