Throw away. I know I shouldn’t have done this and it was a dumb idea, so spare the lectures of calling me a danger or a threat (though I could be wrong and overthinking), but honestly logically it doesn’t make sense that what I did was wrong, but apparently I have committed an ultimate etiquette sin. Though I’m sure the antiwork sub would probably love this.
I’m employed now as of a month ago, but this happened a bit before then during the time that I was for for a little over three months, after parting ways with an incredibly toxic work situation which I won’t get into.
Part of the reason I was out of a job for that long was because I was being actually selective rather than frantic and desperate, even though we all know how basically nowadays you kinda have to game the job market and be wary of recruiters that get off on the bait-and-switch. But it’s important to find something that’s a good fit where I can see myself actually loving and looking forward to coming in to.
In the midst of this, one day I had an interview that seemed really promising. It was in person at the establishment itself, and before even coming in it piqued my interest because of how close it was an the nature of it. I know I said I was being selective, but some did stand out more than others which were more “willing to settle for” and this was one of them.
I come in, fashionably early, dressed to the nines and clean shaven. The interviewer was very sweet and down to earth. The team environment and morale seemed great, the job itself felt like something I could look forward to, and best of all the commute was a very close straight shot. I made my interest clear, showed a lot of positive energy, and of course asked all the questions that I needed to without trying to seem negative (despite my experience at my previous job).
These were all basic important questions like benefits, work life balance and time off policy (something that was a huge problem at my previous job, but I didn’t really outright say that), pay, all that important stuff.
Honestly it felt a lot more like a conversation than an interview, which was good for me (though fuck if I know if that’s a sign of anything or a green or red flag or whatever). When I mentioned work life balance, she actually emphasized how much value they place on work life balance, which was music to my ears. She actually went off on a bit of a tangent herself about ‘corporate America’ and how they’re not like them – as well as how she doesn’t like when workplaces say “we’re a family” – also music to my ears. Like I said, I personally was trying to avoid seeming negative myself, but I clearly lit up when she brought up both those things. Not sure if it was an attempt to try to connect or relate, or to bait/test/trap me, but I didn’t think much of it, I gave in to appreciating it and giving her the benefit of doubt.
I guess my positive energy wasn’t good enough for them because a few days later I got an email saying that I didn’t make the cut, with the cliche wishing me good luck and how “we’ll definitely let you know the next time something opens up” and a whole “DON’T SETTLE! Go for something you actually want!” (yes, in all caps), probably an attempt to seem more personable to make it clear it’s a person writing and not an automated email. Great.
Now here’s where I did wrong (if you could call it that, I highly doubt my actions made any difference whatsoever).
So I’ve heard plenty of times employers saying “we’ll reach out if we have any more openings” and I’ve NEVER once seen any of them actually “reach out”, which is demoralizing as fuck.
Now, since this person seemed to do a good job going out of her way to make herself seem genuine, part of me did actually give the benefit of doubt that either they might be for real, or at the very least they might be able to relate in how a message like that might be received – especially with HER INITIATING the rant about “family” and about “corporate America”.
So, I decided to write a very carefully phrased email. Remaining completely respectful at all times, not aggressive or accusatory in any way. But basically my idea was to inquire about whether they actually have any intention of contacting me, and addressing the things that they said in hope that they might be able to relate in some way on how companies often like to demoralizingly do that – and once again expressing my interest and emphasizing how it stood out to me.
I kinda figured their mind was already made up, but I feel like if I hadn’t sent it I would have wondered, what if. Plus, if it’s already made up, nothing to lose, right?
Well, of course who am I kidding, it wasn’t well received at all. Oh well, their loss.
TL;DR – applied for job I was interested in, didn’t get it, sent email which I genuinely thought would be better received than it was.