My wife and I tried for years to conceive and both got medical advice on our fertility issue. I went to a fertility clinic to give a sperm sample. When we gave the collection cup to the clinician, she whistled and said something to the effect of “yah, I don’t think you’re gonna have an issue.” I thought she was just being funny and didn’t think anything about it at the time. When we got the report, sperm was healthy and in high numbers.
My wife’s OB at the time seemed to think our difficulty conceiving had something to do with how her cervix was positioned. We tried positioning, timing, etc, but eventually had to go with medical intervention. Fortunately artificial insemination worked and we were blessed to become parents.
Fast forward 15 years and a lot of struggles later, my wife and I are trying to get back in touch with being intimate again. It’s been a struggle for us so we’ve had to relearn some things together. We stumbled across a podcast that discussed issues with performance anxiety, vaginal pain, etc, but it also discussed fertility issues. One of the issues they mentioned was hyperspermia.
I tend to go down rabbit holes when I get hooked on something, and boy did this one turn out to be the grand pappy of all rabbit holes. Hyperspermia is essentially when a man ejaculates more than 5ml of semen during orgasm, basically a teaspoon. With some cases of hyperspermia, the fluid in the semen dilutes the sperm count which can cause issues with fertility. I talked to my wife about it and, thankfully, all she could do was laugh and say “so it was YOUR fault all along!?” We did an “experiment” to confirm the issue with me, and I ended up ejaculating about a tablespoon/15ml of semen.
We figure it might have been a combination of both of our issues. The comment from the fertility clinician make sense now, but I wonder why they didn’t say anything after centrifuging the sample. Surely there was some sort of marker that they should’ve called us about? Anyhow, I’m thankful my wife doesn’t hate me and frankly she enjoys my large sample sizes, and that makes me happy too 🙂
TL;DR: We were told my wife’s anatomy was the cause of our infertility, turns out I spooge too much which made me effectively infertile.
Comments
Good for you two ! Hope everything will go smoothly for you !
Sounds like whatever fertility specialist you were working with wasn’t all that special.
“spooge” made me laugh out loud
They wanted the sweet dollars of the artificial insemination treatment
You were genetically predisposed to being a porn star.
Bro, unless you left out the part where you did some Vedic Yoga to deliberately up the output of your firehose I don’t see how you FU anything here.
Now. If any of your children is a son you’re going to have to have a SUPER awkward discussion with him when he hits that age….
I wouldn’t self diagnose anything
Ah well it sucks being on the opposite side of the spectrum, I impregnant girls while on contraception, 6 times and counting. And abortions aren’t cheap anymore.
A wonderful story — you stayed together through one of the most trying situations a a couple can face. You kids are so lucky that they have a model of a healthy relationship.
you determined this was the cause on your own? how? you used less and she’s now pregnant?
Low Key spluge bragging lol.
What is the podcast?? I struggle with similar issues myself.
The clinicians and lab techs who collect these samples know to check for this and I highly doubt they would have missed it.
Weird that they didn’t realise in the lab
Wait, how do they determine your “normal” amount? Is it based on a certain amount of time to, like, build up?
I can shoot what feels like a quarter cup but that’s only if I take a few days off first.
Sorry to burst your bubble (nut????), but that’s not how a semen analysis works. Your counts are normalized per mL. They dont just wash it all and say wow you have a ton of happy sperm, you must be good to go.
Just wanted to comment to say that this was my most entertaining read of the morning (not because of the content but because of how you wrote it). You have a very humorous way with words, internet stranger, for a topic that is rife with a lot of big feelings!
Also (and I hope this doesn’t come off weird from a stranger here), good on you and your wife for working through the intimacy issues you’re having now in such an active (and it sounds like open and loving) way. Good luck to both of you.
So, you weren’t shooting blanks, you were shooting cannonballs.
I have some experience working in the lab with human sperm samples and the average volume is roughly 4-5mLs. 15 mLs in one ejaculate is truly an insane amount!
a) It was super inappropriate and weird for the clinician to make any kind of comment based on eyeballing the sample in a cup. There are loads of things that can be wrong under the microscope. b) there is no such thing as “fault” in infertility, and it’s sad that your wife has been feeling at fault all these years. c) Dr. Google is a terrible way to self-diagnose anything, especially 15 years later. d) congratulations on your successful medical intervention and that you’re continuing to work on your relationship all these years later. Fertility issues throw yet another wrench in the process of keeping a marriage strong and happy!
sperm is not semen.
it should be semenorrhagia or hypersemen.
Btw, I recommend pelvic floor specific therapy to anyone with issues like that. They can do an exam, figure out if it’s something that can be worked on, and you work together. Pardon my French, but congratulations on the load ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
> When we got the report sperm was healthy and in high numbers.
This statement seems to suggest that your hyperspermia was the issue, or at least you didn’t have a low sperm count due to it.
Mind if I ask what podcast was it?
Ah yes, the classic case of ‘too many soldiers, not enough strategy’ Maybe they’re all crashing into each other on the way to the egg. Have you tried installing traffic lights?
This isn’t how a semen analysis works, no? Don’t they measure the level of sperm within the liquid produced? So essentially count/mL of the liquid? That means there shouldn’t be any dilution at all.
Not a FU. You’re misunderstanding your self diagnosis.
Is that not a normal amount?
Oh hey look another bot post
Yo! I have yet to see a story about hyperspermia other than my own!
Sorry to hear about the troubles you had with it.
I mean honestly sometimes I wish I had that condition lol though I didnt know it could actually cause you to have infertility in a way learn something new today
Nah no way. If your count is normal your count is normal.
find it hard to believe that your fertility specialist didn’t know about hyperspermia but this random podcaster did lmfao
Remind me to never drink tea in you house, wait… soup too
In 15 years, there are so many new findings and updates to medical science that perhaps this Hyperspermia wasn’t a familiar phenomenon back then, nor recognised as an issue.
So glad that you and your wife are finding your rhythm again.
Well well, check out the big balls on Brad!
For real, though, congrats. 😅
Usually concentration and total sperm count are very high on the list of results so if the clinic missed this and did not explain it you to, the clinic sucked.
Listen, dude, I work in cattle insemination and your single ejaculate is bigger than 3 ejaculates combined from most bulls.
lol holy shit. I’m scheduled to go next month. Never measured but sorta feel I’m hitting more than a teaspoon.
Hope you washed that spoon
Thats put me off my food.