Throw away and first post on Reddit. I (25 f) am looking for advice on if and how to quit drinking. I come from a long line of bad bad drunks. Both my parents stopped drinking when we were babies for reasons my mom says I need to talk to my dad about but I never have. My mom has always said my ancestors will protect me from getting bad bad by cursing me with terrible hangovers that will drive me to quit.
I have had my fair share of bad times but honestly nothing other than a little classic anxiety about some messy nights. Until yesterday.
I was returning from a week bender with my best friend for her birthday. We went to Palm Springs for stagecoach and everything was fine there. We had a super long travel day and decided to have some drinks in the airport. One drink led to another, and when we landed in LAX I decided to buy a 26 of whisky at duty free. We mixed coke and whisky in our water bottles and hopped on the plane.
Firstly, I split whisky all over myself when we mixed it and I smelt like a bar floor. Second, I happened to know the flight attendant who promised to “take care of us” for the flight, which led to drinks on top of drinks. To make a long story short, I blacked out. And bad. Some notable things- I slapped my best friend and don’t remember. She got it on video and hasn’t spoke to me today (I sent her a messy apology last night). I remember her asking me to get my shit together for security, I don’t know if we went through? I remember getting to some sort of photo check point and realizing I fucked up. I left my passport on the plane. There were lots of black ins and outs, me crying to security, them finding my passport and getting it back to me, my best friend getting mad at me, me bawling in the car with our boyfriends.
I am now at work absolutely dying with hangxiety, it feels like a horrible nightmare I can’t escape. Would something like this push you to stop drinking? How do I stop when it’s so present in my life? I have been wanting to for so long. How do I approach my friend? What do I do with myself today? I genuinely have never felt this way from a hangover.
TL;DR: I blacked out on a plane coming home from a girls trip. I slapped my best friend and lost my passport. Is it time to quit?
Comments
https://www.aa.org/
It’s time to quit. To quit, you just stop drinking. I’d suggest checking out r/stopdrinking because a lot of other people realize it’s time to stop.
If someone offers you a drink, you say “No thanks”. And if they pressure you, stop hanging out with that person.
AA.
Set a drink limit and tell people you trust who will stop you when you hit that limit – or stop yourself. Think “three drinks and done” rule.
Find new friends who don’t think the only way to have fun is to be drunk. Learn for yourself that you can have fun without being drunk.
Don’t ever take alcohol on a plane or get on a plane when already drunk.
Don’t you dare ever drink and drive.
Yes, it would prompt me to stop drinking. It will be difficult, but it is possible. Are you able to seek help from your doctor or a mental health professional? If you can afford or insurance will cover – inpatient rehab might be a good idea since you say alcohol is so present in your life.
I am proud of you for recognizing this is a problem. Some people wait much longer to come to that realization, and some never do. If your parents also struggled with addiction, that might be affecting their ability to help you. Talking to an objective person may be more helpful.
If you message me your city, I can help you look for resources if that’s helpful.
Addiction is wild. You made an absolute fool of yourself and still question if you should stop drinking.
The question of if X would get me to stop drinking is something only you can answer. Because I can personally say yes, but someone with a drinking problem might think them just learn to drink in moderation, and then never do. It sounds like this should be a pivot point for you though.
You made a mistake, a huge own, own up to it. But don’t just own up to it, tell your friend steps you’ve actually taken to stop drinking because you value her friendship and you understand you need help. I think its great that you have recognized it’s a problem, a lot of people with a drinking problem make excuses for their behavior.
AA helps a lot of people (and if the first group you try is a bad fit, try another one; each group has its own vibe). There are other programs too if AA isn’t your thing. There are medications like Antabuse that can help too!
If you regularly drink very heavily, don’t try to go cold turkey on your own, because it can be dangerous and you’ll need medical supervision.
You definitely need to apologize to your friend, but that needs to come with a plan for this kind of thing to never happen again. People are remarkably forgiving for substance related bad behavior as long as you’re doing something concrete about it.
Its time to quit.
Its hard but life get a lot better
OP here. I appreciate all the harshness, truly. It’s something I need to hear. Just some notes on me personally for clarification: I have done the 75 hard and have been fine not drinking for months at a time. It’s just that when I do drink- I can’t stop. Also I am a yoga instructor, I am very spiritual and have that support in my life.
Yeah it kinda sounds like it’s time to stop drinking.
I don’t have any secrets or magic tips, unfortunately. I haven’t even fully quit drinking myself. I’ve just cut way back, like to the point where so far in 2025 I’ve probably had less alcohol than I would have in one of my heavier weekends at my peak. In fact I’m actually not 100% certain I’ve had a drink yet in April and May starts tomorrow.
What I’ll recommend is sitting down and clearly identifying the reasons you want to quit drinking. That could include your friendships, your health, your job, your finances, your future, your fitness/figure, and/or whatever else may be important to you that is being affected by your drinking. Focus on how your drinking is affecting those things. Then the next time you want a drink, really sit and think about them and see if you can talk yourself out of it.
Also it’s probably not a bad idea to consult your physician about this as well. They can connect you with a lot of resources even including medication if you need it.
r/stopdrinking