My family and i moved into a new house in a predominantly white neighborhood in the southern US. A while after we moved in, the vacant house next door finally got filled by a family! Now, we all have adhd and just time blindness in general, so 2 months have gone by since they moved in and we just thought to bring over flowers and a fruit tray to welcome them. We all went over to say hi, and noticed the father (the only one to come to the door) was laughing uncomfortably the whole time. A few hours later, I realized today is Juneteenth. The new neighbors are a black family. We are painfully white. There’s no way they think we chose this day at random to bring them a fruit platter and flowers.
TL;DR: My white ass family likely alienated our black neighbors by choosing Juneteenth to welcome them to the neighborhood.
Comments
Why is this a fuckup? You did a nice thing for people.
i would go back next week with another silly gift and say ‘oh, and happy juneteenth because i can’t track time to save my life’. let it be awkward, joke about time blindness and the chaos of adjusting to a new place, and leave a note with your phone number and name so they know you’re serious about being a connection in the neighborhood. be awkward, it’s not a sin.
edit: there is also the chance he was being defensive because some rando white person showed up on his new doorstep without warning and he didn’t know what to expect.
Just bring them gifts on the 19th of every month and gently ask them questions about whether they also follow the path of the beam.
I don’t think it’s a fu, I think it’s nice to welcome them and I bet they got a huge kick out of it.
[deleted]
Did you specifically welcome them to the neighborhood? If so, I’d have taken it as genuine. If you went over “just to say hi” 100% would have thought it was for Juneteenth.
I’m Black
I feel you should share this to r/ADHD 😂😭🩷🫶🏼
Just continue to be friendly without being pushy. When time has passed and things are less awkward maybe it’ll be something you can laugh over!
Deliberately fucking up the timing of all your exterior holiday decorations wouldn’t hurt, either. Just to establish your general time-blindness street cred. 😉
Let me tell you – I get a feeling you’ll all be good friends and the “let me tell you how I first met these white neighbors of mine” story will come out time and time again. So awesome!
Yeah just go back in a couple days and say, I realized my timing may have been odd, and sorry about that, again welcome to the neighborhood.
And everything will be fine OP
I would’ve found that sweet. I went to costco yesterday and they had cookie cakes on sale that said Free at last. Now if someone would’ve showed up at my door with that. I would feel some way.
Next time you see them simply say “I wanted to apologize for taking so much time to welcome you to the neighborhood. When I saw you moving in, I thought I’m gonna go over tomorrow and bring them some flowers and fruit.” Then make fun of yourself in a self deprecating way about being so absent minded or time blind.
Wait at the window staring at their house all day long until you see them outside and quickly grab a fruit platter and deliver it to their neighbor. They’ll just think you deliver fruit to everyone….and are a stalker.
We black folks like fruit and flowers. Just say it was a “welcome to the neighborhood” thing and call it a day. They won’t care it’s on Juneteenth.
This is almost as bad as when my husband cheerfully wished a Native American woman “Happy Thanksgiving” when picking up some edibles on a reservation last November.
It could be worse… was the fruit platter mostly watermelon? If so, that would be worse. (I’m white and I love watermelon so I could totally see myself doing that).
Oh my word I actually snorted when I read this I was laughing so hard. thanks! Please tell me your fruit plate wasn’t watermelon.
As a black person, no issue with you coming over on Juneteenth. Just follow up with 4th of July.
This is the best tifu or difu post I’ve ever seen. Hopefully you and your neighbors will laugh about it for years
From the post title I was trying to figure out what flower was racist haha
White people make more thing about race than they need to. Doubt they cared.
😂🤣 Woo-wee! This is EXACTLY the kind of thing I’d do. (But yours really takes the cake! 🥇) This makes for a charming conversation when you have them over for a bbq or something, like others have suggested. Also, awkwardness has its own kind of charm, so just own it! You’re adorkable! 💜🥳 How many other neighbors brought them a Juneteenth gift? NONE. Y’all are the best! 🌟💫
Seems like this is easy to fix. Just be nice to them again at any other date.
Don’t make assumptions; you didn’t alienate them. They were laughing because it’s a new experience. Fuck it. Be the white people that celebrate Juneteenth. Out of all the type of white people you can be, I think that’s a pretty stellar thing to be.
YOU ARE RAD BY ACCIDENT. LOVE YOURSELF.
Was it watermelon?
If not you’re prolly ok.
Bring them flowers and a fruit platter again tomorrow with a note that says “holy shit we didn’t realize it was Juneteenth yesterday”
Why would it be bad for you to bring them a gift on Juneteenth. Its a celebration of the ending of slavery. It’s as good a day as any other to welcome a neighbor. Why shouldn’t you celebrate as a white person. Slavery was a shameful part of our history, and we should all be glad it finally ended.
You know… it’s prolly nice to know their white neighbors aren’t racist pieces of shit. You gave them important intel about you.
Also, if I moved into an apartment in Indonesia and some neighbors I never met brought me a muffin basket on thanksgiving – purposeful or not – I’d love it and love my neighbors.
Painfully white? White ass family? You might see skin color more than your new neighbors, because it certainly didn’t stop them from moving into as you say “a predominantly white neighborhood”. You did a friendly, neighborly thing. It shouldn’t matter to anyone what day you did it on and the skin color in which you did it.
People can sense when something comes from a genuine place.
The only fuckup is now you need to give them care packages every Juneteenth. A nice neighborly, “thanks for being black!”
So that’s a little weird lol.
But that shits only gonna stay weird if you let it.
Like, if you never speak to them again, you’ll be the weird white people who tried too hard on Juneteenth.
But if you go over there next week and invite them to a BBQ, then it seems like you were just being friendly.
If you become friendly neighbors with them, they’ll think it’s hilarious that you did that on Juneteenth and it’ll become your inside joke forever.
As a non American, Juneteenth?
Is bringing someone food and flowers on their cultural holiday a bad thing anyway? Either way, it’s nice!
Your neighbors may not be as racist as you assume.
I don’t see what you did wrong. If they make assumptions it’s on them
As a european, I do not understand
Was your heart in the right place? Yes? Then it’s all good. Like the sister sang , ‘Let it Go!’
What? Get out of your head. Who sits around and thinks about this? You told them it was a welcome wagon visit didn’t you? Don’t walk on egg shells. Be yourself.
Guaranteed they know you’re the awkward White family who is making an effort to try to make contact. You are noted and your gift appreciated. You’re cool, take a chill pill and relaaaaaax.
Kindness to new neighbors is never a fu.
But I’d take over a gift card to a local pizza place, awkwardly say, “Uh…I can be kind of clueless sometimes- and when I got home, I realized the date. I really hope the fruit seemed more like a welcome to the neighborhood and less an awkward reparations attempt. But either way, we’re just glad you’re here. Have a pizza on us for tonight- I know unpacking can be hungry work!”
Honestly I think if you continue to be friendly towards them they won’t hold it against you. Most people just want to be friendly with the neighbors
Lmaoo I get this
Today my old white coworker wished me a happy Juneteenth. I was really caught of guard because that was the last thing I expected to come from his mouth
Lmfao this is hilarious. I’m pretty sure you just caught them off guard. It’s not common for us folks to be welcomed to the neighborhood like that. I don’t think you FU
A fuck up would have been if you showed up with a platter of fried chicken and watermelon. I think what you did was great and probably the start of a great neighborly relationship
As a black neighbor in an all white neighborhood, I would LOVE this. I was given extra sauce with a meal today and walked away thinking “ Happy Juneteenth to me”
I’m a massive introvert. If my neighbours bought be a welcome gift, I’d be so awkward during the interaction. But I’d be so touched by it, and how thoughtful it was.
I would t worry. Just continue being friendly.
As a black person here, I don’t believe they took it that way. It was probably awkward because they most likely have never had anyone bring them a welcome gift before and was most likely taken back by the gesture. If they accepted it and thanked you they are probably grateful for the gift. Keep doing you. We need more people like you. 8 remember when I had my very first apartment, no one got me a welcome gift but for New Year’s I put a bottle of champagne and a card at everyone’s door so that we all could have a drink on New Year’s. So yeah…keep doing you. You seem like nice people. 🙂
Was the fruit platter watermelon? Cause if it was it most certainly did not help your case
You’re good OP hence the belly laughing.
I’m just asking, did the fruit tray have watermelon? Because if I was him I probably had died laughing.
This is the kind of thing that brings families together. In a year’s time you’re going to do it again on purpose, but with the added memory of the awkwardness of this year. Being on purpose, it’ll have a bit of humor to it. Five years down the line, the tradition will be going strong.
Lean into the awkward. Better that than anger and bigotry. You did alright, all things considered.
I promise you, they enjoyed the fruit and maybe had a bit of a laugh at your expense. But I’m sure they don’t think you’re racist.
This is straight from a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode 😂. I’m Black and I don’t know what to tell you… I would’ve thought it was an awkward but I’m trying Juneteenth thing. I would definitely be looking at yall sideways.
I would go back and explain just to be on the safe side. Don’t be too serious about it. The explanation would make it hilarious. We’d probably be friends after that
Get to know them better and eventually bring it up.
Then update this thread so we can hear what their thoughts were on yalls first encounter 🤣
Lmao. Honestly, if new neighbors did this to me – I’d obviously think they were trying to be very kind on juneteenth and would immediately text my friends about the “woke neighborhood”.
Id appreciate it a bunch and get a good laugh about it. Regardless of anything else, id know they were thinking with good intentions, so thats a huge positive!
At least you didn’t bring watermelon, right? Right?
When they closed the door they definitely said to each other “what kind of get out ass neighborhood did we just move into?” 😂🤣
Invite them over for drinks or coffee and say “sorry it took so long to welcome you to the neighborhood, we have a lot going on.” Just be a person.
This is one of those “only awkward if you make it awkward” kind of things. Odds are they were grateful.
Overall a lovely gesture for your new neighbors. All I can recommend is if you see them out and about just give a friendly wave. I don’t talk to my neighbors very much but it’s an easy way to connect with others in passing on the everyday level.
White Canadian here with no experience with Juneteenth. Why is this in poor taste? Usually people of other ethnic groups appreciate it when an outsider makes an effort to honour their special days. Why wouldn’t you bring your neighbours a present for their holiday?
Oh no, awkward timing! Maybe explain it was just bad planning, not intentional?
So nice of you! I’m black and I wouldn’t have associated the two. I would’ve been too excited that I had friendly neighbors bearing gifts, lol.
Guess what!? Black people are humans too so just make a big joke of it and it’ll be something funny y’all laugh about together for years to come
I think you did great, and had a happy accident. we should all be celebrating the F out of Juneteenth every year!