TIFU by burning chocolate chips in the microwave, and then clogging the toilet with the burnt mass of chocolate

This happened in the summer when I was 16, I’m 37 now. At that time, I had a tendency to sleep in late. I wasn’t a partier or a drinker, but I would stay up late watching TV. I would usually turn in around 1:30 after Conan.

I woke up around 10 or so and for whatever reason I decided I wanted some chocolate sauce. To drink? To just snack on? I don’t know what I was thinking I needed chocolate sauce for but after searching the cupboards, I saw that we were out. But I did manage to find chocolate chips as my mom liked to bake. It’s important to remember that I was home alone at this point as my parents were both at work, and my brother was visiting my grandparents.

I put the chips into a glass dish, put them in the microwave for three minutes on high, and walked away. I came back to the kitchen just before the beep of the microwave to find smoke billowing out of the microwave. I didn’t know things could burn in microwaves but there I was. I knew I needed to get rid of the evidence. Throwing it in the garbage wasn’t an option as it could easily be found there. So I decided the best option was to flush it down the toilet.

Just like not knowing things could burn in the microwave, I also didn’t know that if you drop smouldering chocolate into cold toilet water, it turns it into a rock. I flushed the toilet thinking my problems were over. Well, the toilet clogged. ”No problem, I know what to do. I’ll just use the plunger” I thought. After three or four unsuccessful attempts to unclog the toilet with the plunger, I had no choice but to resort to other methods.

I couldn’t see the chocolate chips, but I could feel them. They were stuck right on the pipe. I got a butter knife from the kitchen, and tried to break them all up. I remember saying out loud “Just go down the pipe! Either come up, or go down!” I tried a few other things. Sharper knives, needle nose pliers, literally any sharp object I could find. Nothing worked.

Eventually I decided maybe I need something to push it down. Like a pressure washer or something. We didn’t have a pressure washer, but maybe the garden hose would do the trick! Luckily the hose was right below the bathroom window. However, we lived in a raised bungalow and the bathroom window was too high to get the hose through. So I had it going up into my brother’s room out into the hall, and into the bathroom. We had one of those heads on the hose with different settings. I set it to the highest pressure setting possible and let it rip. I must have flooded the toilet six times. This thing did not budge!

I wish there was a better ending, but I called my mom at work in a panic, thinking we would have to spend money on a plumber. Thankfully my grandfather came around with his plumber’s snake and with much difficulty got the toilet unclogged.

TL:DR: I burnt chocolate chips in the microwave, then clogged the toilet with them. After several attempts to get it free, I was defeated and my grandfather came and unclogged it.

Edit: Spelling